Women's Transitions: Asking Yourself Challenging Questions
Did you know 1 in 5 women will have a common mental health concern in their lifetime?
Today I have a licensed Counseling Psychologist and certified professional coach, Heather Cosgrove joining me on the podcast. She specializes in working with women's issues, adjustment, and life transitions. On a larger scale, she supports small companies in retaining and engaging their staff and creating a positive workplace culture.
Heather shares not only what transitions her clients are going through now, but some of the major themes she saw during the pandemic.
Overall, the transitions have women asking themselves challenging questions, usually for the first time in their lives.
If you feel like you are going through life checking the boxes, wanting deeper connections or even have the desire to create balance, you need to listen in as Heather mentions her go-to tools to help her clients reconnect with themselves and their lives.
Learn more and connect with Heather:
Her website, Cosgrove Solutions
Interested in her 9-week program called "Staff Rescue as a small to mid-sized business owner? Heather will provide you with 1:1 coaching, exercises, worksheets and personalized consulting to help you retain your staff and keep them engaged. Contact her through her website! Cosgrove Solutions
Loved this episode? Share it with your friends and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
@reinventingthearena on Instagram
Heather is a licensed Counseling Psychologist and certified professional coach who offers psychotherapy, coaching, and consulting through her business Cosgrove Solutions.
On an individual level, Heather specializes in working with women's issues, adjustment, and life transitions.
On a larger level, Heather supports small companies in retaining and engaging their staff and creating a positive workplace culture.
Listen and Subscribe
Listen in every Tuesday to hear savvy guests and love life insights.
Subscribe so you never miss additional released episodes!
TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE
Molly Connolly (00:00.622)
Hey there, lady. Welcome back to another episode of reinventing the arena. I am so glad you're here. And if this is your first time joining me for a guest episode, welcome. Today, my guest is a licensed counseling fight. See, and then I'm just mess that up. I always get tongue -tied at the beginning. I know. It's a lot to remember, I'm sure. well, I have to make sure I write yours down so I have it to look at. All right.
My guest today is a licensed counseling psychologist and certified professional coach who offers psychotherapy, coaching, and consulting. Heather Cosgrove specializes in supporting others in these three areas in order to provide them with the tools they need to succeed and empower them to see the strength and resilience that they already possess. On an individual level, Heather specializes in working with women's issues, adjustment, and life transitions. On a larger level, Heather supports small companies in retaining and engaging their staff and creating a positive workplace culture.
Welcome to the show, Heather. Hi, thank you, Molly. I'm so excited to be here. I wanted to let people know that I might not, I haven't mentioned this before in other episodes, but I always find it so interesting and enjoy those people that go the extra mile, meaning you have your certification in a type of therapy and you also went the extra mile and went to coaching. And I think combining those two really give your clients, people that work with you like,
a bonus, but I'm curious, like what personally, you know, led you to learn those modalities to help women? Like, can you share more of your personal journey that led you to where you are today? Yeah. So I thought about this a little bit and it just sort of started with, I've always been a curious person. Like when I was a, I was that teenager who subscribed to psychology today when I was like 15 years old. Like I've just been fascinated.
by human behavior and like how people think and work and what helps them heal. And I was also someone that really benefited from therapy at a young age. And I think that really impacted just my thought process around wanting to be helpful to others, because I found that so helpful to myself. And so it really resonated with me.
Molly Connolly (02:15.95)
Both of my parents were counselors in some way, shape or form, working with addictions and substance use. And so it was just such a resonating value in my family. And it just made sense. It's just one of those things in life that clicked really quickly for me. And so when I went to undergrad, I declared psychology right away. I knew that that was my major. I toyed around with the idea of being an English teacher for like a couple months.
And I was like, no, it's truly psychology. And part of my journey was taking a lot of different classes and trying to kind of figure out which area to go into. And I landed pretty firmly in counseling psychology, which is what I went to get my doctorate in. I just loved being present with other people's stories. And I loved being able to like hold the pain that people have been going through and witness that in a lot of people's lives.
who like might never have shared that before. So as I went through my training, I started practicing as a psychologist. I've been practicing for about 10 years now and always in college counseling centers. I really love working with young adults, but similar to many people, I think when COVID happened and the shutdown happened, I call it a values clarification exercise. Like I really think,
We all were just kind of sitting in our pajamas and making sourdough bread. And we were just trying to figure out like, is this what I want? Like, is this what I want when I imagine returning to work? When I imagine being away from my family again or spending a lot of time with my family? Like, how is this feeling for me? And for me, it kind of highlighted that something was missing in my career. I really liked the one -on -one work, but...
that it can be really limiting in some ways when you sort of notice that like there's systems at play that could also be impacting someone's wellness and mental health. And what was so prominent in COVID was work, like how work plays such a huge role in our lives. And so that drew me to coaching. And I decided to get my certification there to lend my expertise with individuals and also.
Molly Connolly (04:35.31)
groups to try to have like the most impact to really help them heal themselves and heal the systems that they're in. And this was so prominent with so many women that I was talking to who were trying to do it all, like teaching their children from home and then working and then, and then like trying to like keep the home tidy and like find toilet paper and all of those things that were like really hard to do. And I just got this message over and over of like this overwhelming burnout.
that was happening. And so it kind of drew me to with the start of my business, I really wanted to support the women who were in transitions or who were grappling with career or who were deciding in relationships if they were meaningful for them or not. And then in coaching to support women in work through if they were in management or if they...
were trying to like keep their key players around, cause you know, there was sort of the quiet quitting epidemic too that happened at the same time. And it just sort of naturally all came together into what I do now, which is still supporting, you know, I still do therapy with folks. I do one -on -one coaching and I also offer my expertise to help workplaces be healthier and to help people, especially high achieving women in these positions like,
figure out what balance is and not feel like you have to compromise like life or work or relationships in order to have what you want. And so that's sort of how I found myself here. Well, and I like how you just, just the whole story just flowed together. It was so chronological and it's such, it's so much sense about where we all were a few years ago. And one thing that I really liked how you called out with like all the duties that women had.
on their plates, especially for those that were married with kids and maybe even just like a management level job. I wasn't married yet, didn't have kids yet, but we had pets and you're not home with your animals all day. And sometimes that's great. And sometimes it's like, did the cat just puke again? Right. When I was about to have my meeting, like, you know, right. Not again.
Molly Connolly (06:55.214)
I hope I don't step in it. Just these things where it's just like, we're not used to even working from home. And now it's such a, it's somewhat of a luxury. It's sometimes a very good compromise with most cultural balance with other workplaces. But you know, you called out the quiet quitting and also the great resignation that starts a little bit before then. And I watched friends, I watched coworkers when I was working a full -time job, pick up and leave and
You know, coaching allowed me to leave mid pandemic. So it's amazing to see how that value shift really changed. it's admits all of the shutdown for all of that. I mean, maybe you're just thinking of maybe a few clients that you worked through or worked with during COVID through some issues. What do you think some of those biggest issues really were during COVID just to call those out? Yeah.
I think without a doubt, cause I was still seeing clients throughout that whole process. It was loneliness and isolation were huge at that point. And even if you were home, like if you were someone that lived with your family, you had kids, like you were so busy and distracted and like it was loneliness in a different way of just not being able to take care of yourself or not being able to have a moment to breathe. I have friends who are working in corporate.
who would teach their children all day long and then work until like 3 a to try to catch up, right? And so it became this sort of isolating factor of this hugely important human connection. And suddenly everyone that we know is on a screen and that connecting is just very different in that way. I also think a lot of anxiety
and depression came through at that time too. They're kind of like intimately linked when we're feeling like isolated lack of connection and lack of belonging. And so I'm still seeing the ramifications of that working with students who were in high school during COVID and now they're in college and just the anxiety of how do I make friends? And school was very different at that time. And
Molly Connolly (09:11.758)
I see that with my adult clients too, who are kind of in the middle of their careers or thinking about families or kind of what they want next is this feeling of like disconnect and how do we kind of rebuild community and how do we find that community? And so I saw that a lot during COVID, like it was isolating in some ways very nice because we got to work on our pajamas, but in a lot of ways, like those really basic human needs around connection and belonging were not being met.
or being met in a way that wasn't like completely fulfilling for what we were needing. yeah. And just quickly, like how do you feel that has shifted to that balance? We're getting that balance than possibly like the last year or so. Yeah, it's definitely not as bad as it was. So I'm noticing that there is sort of this return to normalcy and that people are like,
seeking that connection. I think we needed some time to re -figure out what that looks like, you know, with technology playing such a huge role during COVID. Like we'd never really go back to how it truly was before. But I'm seeing like our, so for example, where I work, we run a group therapy program and it's become increasingly popular because when you're in a group, you feel that connection and belonging and people are actively seeking that out. I think for,
For many people, especially that I've seen women and people in the workforce, it's also, if they've gone through the values clarification exercise, it could be a changing career to something that's more aligned or meaningful. It could be changing relationships or increase or changing boundaries or thinking about what you need and wants. And I've seen more of that too. Like I've definitely worked with many women coming out of COVID who are for the first time, or maybe asking the question like, what is this what I truly want?
And is this the life that I want to live? And those are great questions to be asking. They're scary. But I'm hearing more and more people ask that as they're kind of getting some breathing room from the shutdown. yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I love once again, how that really has challenged not only us as a society, but as women to really make sure that this is what we want. Yeah. Always asking.
Molly Connolly (11:34.574)
When you think about it, what have you seen affect your clients, you know, mostly focusing on women again? Like what affects their mental health the most, no matter what timeframe? Right. Yeah. Just in general. So one in five women will have a common mental health concern at some point during their life. So that's, that's a large number of women will be experiencing this. The most common ones are anxiety and depression, but I would say what is unique with women. Well,
What is unique with women are concerns around like body image and eating. Like that definitely tends to be much more prominent with women, not exclusive, but prominent. And I'll say an umbrella to all of this that impacts women as well as like all of humanity, but trauma is something that's huge and can kind of touch every aspect of someone's life. And women in particular are more
likely to have experienced like sexual or physical abuse when they're growing up or currently. So that in and of itself is something that I've seen a lot of women starting to work through, starting to name that. And with that comes like symptoms of anxiety and depression and just sort of, you know, like just having a difficult time in relationships, having a difficult time trusting.
those are all very common. I would say the themes that I've seen in working with my female clients are around relationships are so key, you know, I think in wellness and for women in particular. So a lot of my clients talk about their romantic partners. A lot of my clients talk about their family. A lot of my clients talk about their friend groups. And it's really, again, the kind of the question of is this,
working for me, what do I want out of this relationship? And what do I want for myself? With that comes like assertiveness and boundaries too. I do a lot of like communication work and like what does a boundary feel like and working through kind of the internalized pressure that we feel where we associate having a boundary with being mean or being cruel when it actually is so critical to like taking care of ourselves and defending ourselves.
Molly Connolly (13:55.278)
and fiercely protecting ourselves. So I see a lot of that as well. I think any type of mental health concern that comes up is also relate, it can't be related to transitions. So women go through a lot of transitions in life, both like physically, mentally, like there's just so much, like how could you not at times grapple with, you know, I think,
Like one of my clients right now is a woman that's going through menopause and like really trying to like sort out the changes of her body and also the changes in how she feels and also the impact on like her family. And she's been asking some really amazing questions about like, what does she want her role as wife and mother to look like? What does she want this next chapter of her life to be like? What is she looking for in herself?
And that those are such hard questions to ask, but I'm so proud of her for doing that, like during this really big change when like you might not even feel connected to your body and you might not even like know what's going on with your emotions. But, but the, the important piece is like hanging in there and asking those questions. And I'm grateful that she's like stuck to coaching with me to kind of really sort through that. So,
So yeah, I mean, I would say most commonly anxiety and depression, but there's all kinds of changes that women go through that also can kind of impact our mental wellness. yeah. And one thing that I don't know, maybe you've seen this too with your clients, but I feel like because of women's transitions, we also have this moment of like our transitions, our identity. Yeah. And so it's really hard to figure out who we are.
because we've been labeled for so long as the daughter, the sister, the best friend in college. Now I'm the manager or now I'm a wife, but it's like, who are you really? And when you start to have the kids go away to college, I mean, like I said, I don't have kids, but the friends that have kids that go off to college, the empty nest syndrome, that menopause of where you're like, I've been feeling all this in my body and how things have really changed. And for some women it's easy and other women it's not.
Molly Connolly (16:17.294)
And then all the things that might come along with age, like sexuality, memory, and how that affects your relationship with your partner. All those sort of changes really affect the identity. And some women just start to search like, who am I? And it's really courageous of your client to ask those questions. Like you said, in that big transition, which I feel like that's another thing. Like I'm going to have to bring someone on who knows about menopause because that is such a thing that
As younger generations, some of us just don't even think about we think about, hurry up, get married, have babies. And then next thing you know, you're like, what menopause? What's that? And not a lot of information about pre menopause, but there's a lot about menopause. So all those things of like, what's your body goes through the mental aspects change the emotions, all of that. So yeah, that's really heavy. And you're not even really thinking of expressing those emotions. And when women, we just have to really process that whole.
you know, next transition that we weren't really expecting. So that's kind of what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I totally agree. And I think a part of that is that women are usually the caregivers and whatever family system they're in. I can say I'm the oldest daughter in my family. And so caregiving was a huge thing when I was 10, 11, I started kind of taking that on, right? And probably even before then. And that's such a prominent
like role for so many women, even if they don't have children, they care take like their elderly parents more often, or they're kind of like the manager at work. And women tend to have more of a warm relational leadership style and wanting to make sure that everyone's okay and all of those things. And the other, the flip side to that is like we can lose ourselves.
caring so much about other people or for other people. And like, we are so good at it, but I see it a lot where if something were to shift or change, like the kids go to college or menopause or a career shift, that feeling of being lost is really normal and happens a lot because suddenly it's kind of like, well, if I'm not mom, then who am I? You know, like I've been so good at this for so long.
Molly Connolly (18:42.926)
So I think that role and kind of the emotional toll that it can take definitely impacts the way that I think women think about themselves in these transition points versus men who might not have had as much of a caretaker role or been expected to do that. Yeah. Or even like taking care of other things around the home. Right. That sort of situation. So now that we've kind of like really started diving into all these amazing life changes and transitions, we have to go through them as women.
Do you notice or have you noticed how women's mental health might change through those transitions? Kind of like how I mentioned, you know, it's like hypothetically, we know we're aware of getting married and having kids, but you know, we kind of forget about menopause. So how does that, the mental health aspect really come into play during those times? Yeah, I think it definitely does shift as.
as we kind of grow older. So a lot of, again, a lot of my work is with college students. And so I would say definitely for women in college, there is this focal point on friendships, particularly like finding my group, finding our, where do we belong? And then romantic partnerships as well. Like there's just sort of this natural developmental period that happens in high school where we start individuating from our family and we start really resonating with our friends.
and so I've had many college students sitting in my office talking about like, is this friend group, the group for me, do people like me? And then kind of underneath that, that question of, do I like me? And are there things that I need to be kind of paying attention to or working towards? Like it's such a phenomenally interesting time like this for these four or five years that it takes to go through college. And I've seen women get like,
understand so much more about themselves, but it can be stressful. And I think like you've talked about transitions, that's a big one to move from home or if they don't go to college, there's still sort of this expectation of growing up, I'll say that in quotes of like get a job or join the military or whatever that might be. There's this sort of like end point when you're 18, have like now you're moving forward. I think that causes a lot of anxiety for folks as they're trying to figure out who they are.
Molly Connolly (21:04.494)
When I work with women that are maybe in like the mid age, so like thirties, forties, fifties, it then becomes, is this the life that I want? So they might be starting families or they might be like in the middle of their career and trying to decide if that's the path that they want. They might be questioning if the romantic partner that they're with is the person that they would like to be with, or do they want a romantic partner?
I think I can just speak for myself. When I was like in my early thirties, I felt a lot of pressure to kind of like do all the things society tells us we should do. I was like, I should marry my high school sweetheart and I should buy a house. And then after we buy a house, we should have kids and I should have this job. And you know, I was checking off all of these boxes and then I got to the end of it and I looked at my life and I was like, I don't really.
like any of this, you know? Like it was like, I call it the moment that I kind of blew up my life where I had to kind of take a pause and think, are these the pieces that align for me? Is this kind of what I want? I think a lot of women are asking that question in one way, shape or form. And coming to terms with that, I think, I always say I like my 30s much more than my 20s, because I know myself so much more. Like you have that stability and sense of self sometimes.
and so I think for that, it's more of like, who, who, what, who really am I and who do I want to be in these different roles that I've taken on? do I want to invest a lot in my career? Do I want to move to a different country? You know, all of those different things, we might have more freedom to do at that point. And then I think as women get older, I think something that becomes more salient that we really don't talk about a lot is grief. So grief can look like.
the loss of certainly the loss of a loved one or person close to us, but grief is also like retiring and letting go of that identity. Grief is also the kids moving out of the house. Grief is also menopause, like losing a certain relationship with our body. And that becomes more and more, I think something that women are facing and grappling with as they get older is.
Molly Connolly (23:23.502)
Like who am I in the midst of this loss? How do I work through that? And how do I want like the rest of my life to be, you know, retirement or do I want to travel? Do I want to be close to the kids? Do I pick up a hobby? Like I hear a lot of those questions too. And with that, I think we can kind of become increasingly lonely, you know, the more that we experience loss or the more that
you know, people close to us either move away or pass away or whatever that might be. So I work with a lot of women who are older around just being lonely and needing to find community and grappling with all of these changes that like maybe they haven't had to deal with at this level before. Yeah. And like all that makes sense, especially when you talked about your personal story of just checking the boxes, because like you said, society
supposedly has everything laid out on paper for us. We go to school, we graduate, we're 18 -ish. And maybe you go to college, maybe you don't, but you're getting a job either way, because you have to support yourself. Because you have to, yeah. Yeah. And then it's, I mean, there's so many women when I coach them when they're in their twenties, and if they haven't found their person, they think something's wrong with them. I know. And it's like, no.
nothing's wrong with you, you're free. Embrace it. You are able to really learn about you that most women don't get the opportunity to do unless they take a chance and do the work during these transitions. But like you said, the grief, I didn't even think about that.
you know, even if we were watching our own mothers, I guarantee you, if we had the idea, we would notice the grief. And I don't think I noticed my mom grieving. Like my parents were like, yeah, she's going to college. This is great. Like they were totally like, get out. They still had my brother. So, but like, you know, the pandemic really probably put a lot more of that upfront center and seeing the grief happen because you're almost, you know, forced to sit with it. Yeah.
Molly Connolly (25:37.39)
So even for those older generations thinking about, okay, well, I was going to retire in two years and now this happens, or I can't go to the doctor for menopause. Like what, you know, what can I do? All these things. So, yeah, they're all the different, everything you just said, it just, it's very, what is the word I'm looking for? It's, it's reassuring in a sense, because it allows women to realize they're not alone as well as.
It's the big clue of like, well, what do we do about it? We go internal asking ourselves all those questions. And because we're both on this side of the business, we just love asking those questions. So we like love to do it ourselves probably. But you know, what techniques do you think have really helped women as the ones that you've worked with help them like empower themselves to move forward in these different life transitions to make.
them have a healthier lifestyle, healthier mindset, help them feel more like themselves? Yeah, yeah. That's a great question. So a quote that I say a lot is we are the tools that we use. And so I really believe in starting with how well do you know yourself? And are there questions that you've been wanting to ask yourself and maybe been too scared or are there areas where you might need more clarity? And so I really like to start
basic foundations of like, where do you feel fulfilled in your life and where might you be feeling like there's some lacking happening? I use a tool called the Wheel of Life that just has different domains, you know, like financial health, romantic relationships, family, career. And I just have folks rank, you know, we're like on a scale of one to 10, how fulfilled they are in those different areas. And that gives us a really good foundation to figure out like,
to where we might start working or where it might be the pain point for the client that I'm meeting with. I also really love values work. I almost always do values work with whoever I'm sitting with, whether they want to or not. I think that there's just so much meaning in knowing. I really have people sit down and narrow it down to their top two values. Me too. Yes, it's so important. My gosh, two is the best.
Molly Connolly (27:59.662)
I'm the first person that has like literally said that with so excited. Did you? No, totally. Yes. my gosh. I get my belly exercises from. Yes. I love Brene Brown. Yeah. So I steal, I mean, I steal her idea where she has people narrowed down to their top two. and I,
You know, I always have to negotiate with my clients. Like you sure not my top five or my top 10. I'm like, no top two, cause you need to remember them and you need to ask yourself, how is this showing up in my life or what would this look like to show up in my life? You know, cause those I should cause them our lanterns. Those are our lanterns to fulfillment and alignment. And so once my clients have a sense of like where they're seeking fulfillment and what drives them, what motivates them through their values, then I start.
helping them kind of sort through the thinking patterns that can kind of get in our way. And the big one that I have people, I have people just keep a journal of how often they find themselves in judgment. So that can be judgment of self, judgment of others or judgment of a situation. And we as humans are very good at judging. It's just sort of built in.
but there's not a lot of evidence, I don't know of any evidence that supports that judgment helps us feel healthier mentally or feel positive. It's usually the opposite that happens and we don't even realize it's happening. I like the metaphor, like the way that our brain works is the more that we have similar thought patterns, the easier it is to access them. And so our brain is like a dirt road and our thinking patterns are like,
a really heavy wagon going down the dirt road and creating these grooves. And so if our wagon is always going to judgment and negativity, our brain is gonna love that. And it's going to want to keep doing that because it's a shortcut. It's much easier to go down a well -worn road than to perhaps try to think about, well, catch ourselves in the judgment or say, well, is this really how I feel? Or is this a different way of thinking about that?
Molly Connolly (30:10.734)
And so I work with clients a lot on one, being able to catch when we're using judgment and then to make a different choice to kind of slow down that process and take a look at that. One of my favorite things that helps combat that is gratitude. So practicing gratitude is almost the direct opposite of judgment. And our brains need us to do some of that work to kind of redirect the wagon.
to more positivity and gratitude. And so it can start small with just journaling, three things you're grateful for a day. And there's tons of research to show that actually does help reduce depression and anxiety. So I like to start with just sort of like the basic foundations of like, who am I and what drives me? And then catching these traps that we are so easily falling into by...
trying to short circuit that or trying to kind of soften that for ourselves and then kind of go from there once we're better able to kind of get a hang of or understand the way that our brain likes to operate and are there different pathways that we can take so that we're feeling kind of just more grateful, more joyous, less judgmental. Yeah. And you know, I love how you had us basically walk through visualization of that wagon going over.
because coaching was so new to me, but I really enjoyed the concept that came from an athlete background. So I was like, it's kind of similar. But it was funny when I was going through my first weekend of live training, how exhausting my brain was emotionally and physically. And it's because of those new neural pathways. When we decide to make a new choice and we're learning something new, especially as an adult, we can get mental fatigue.
And that can cause us to be like, well, I'll just go back to doing what I used to do. And it's like, no, you're, you're just getting out of your comfort zone. Stay here, try to sit with that discomfort. and sometimes I also have like clients where they're like, I screwed up. I didn't do X, Y, and Z. And I'm like, you're still in the learning phase because it still takes time to build those neural pathways, to have a new choice, to have a new, go -to from issues like judgment or negative thoughts or the inner critic issues.
Molly Connolly (32:31.054)
You know, so I really appreciate you bringing that out. And also talking about gratitude, I cannot tell my clients enough. Like, respect and gratitude is like the biggest thing that you could do for yourself to get this started. If you want change, it's always in your hands. It's just, you have to take those little actions to get started. Yeah. And I would offer,
some gentleness for folks who maybe are trying and having a hard time with like trying to redirect or make a different choices. We spent years like making these neural pathways, like years and years, you know, and it's gonna take more than a week. You'll see progress faster than that, but we also have to give ourselves some grace in that these, some of these are just like really deeply rooted and just require a little bit more work and attention to get ourselves to a place where it's a little bit easier.
to find the gratitude. It's just like working out. It's like, I can't go run for 10 minutes and be like, I lost 15 pounds. That doesn't happen. Exactly. It's like, I might have to run for 10 months or longer to lose like five pounds. Who knows? Right. It's all about the effort and the consistency and the dedication to that change. So are there any other specialties or any techniques that you think the women might want to take away from?
today for them to like continue to move forward in order to really make a difference in their goals, on their mindset, anything else. I love what you already shared, but I didn't know if there's any little thing else. Yeah, nothing's come. I'm sure that, I mean, there are so many things, but those are sort of the building blocks that I typically use. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So then for the women that are listening, how can they identify when it's a right time to work with someone like you?
when they have these sort of issues coming up, whether it's in their career or in their personal life. Yeah. Yeah. So I do want to normalize like anxiety, depression, all of these things are our normal experiences that we have humans will have. I would say when you notice that it is impacting your ability to be present and function in your daily life. If those feelings like are just with you, I know
Molly Connolly (34:51.022)
For me, a signal when it's like, I should maybe go talk to a coach or a therapist is when I just feel the weight of how I'm feeling all the time. Like it's just something that you kind of are carrying around with you. And you might notice that it's harder to take care of yourself. Like it might be harder to prioritize, like taking that walk. It might be harder to prioritize making a meal for yourself. It might be harder to sleep.
So if you're noticing these changes and it's harder to function, that's usually a good sign that it would be helpful to talk to a professional. I would also say if you're having a hard time like managing how you're feeling, if you notice that they're kind of like spilling out in places where you wouldn't normally, if it's being a little bit harder to contain, that's usually a good signal to talk to someone too, to kind of help you detangle.
of what's going on. I think it's always beneficial. I'm always going to be an advocate for coaching and therapy, even if you are feeling good and you're just having big questions. I think that's appropriate too, but definitely if you're noticing an impact, if you're not enjoying things the way that you used to, or it's just harder to function, therapy or coaching can be life -changing for someone in those moments. And another thing, since we did briefly talk about this in the beginning,
When is it the right time for like a manager to say, we need to work with Heather for our business? Like to develop that culture in our department or company. Yeah, I think if you are asking the question of like, why are my staff leaving or how are we going to keep like our key, our high performers here? If you're asking the question of like, how do I connect and motivate?
my staff, like kind of up the culture to one that feels really productive and connected. I think it's great to kind of seek an external support sometimes because it's really hard to change a system or change a dynamic from the inside, especially if it's only one person, one manager. I think the managers are like the angels of a workplace because they are kind of like managing all of the feedback and
Molly Connolly (37:12.718)
ideas from top management and then they're also trying to engage their staff and like make sure everybody's okay and handle any problems that are coming up. Like it's such a tough position to be in. And so if you're asking the questions around like, could I be doing this better? Like how do I hold onto the staff that I have or how do I recruit and retain really quality staff? Then I'd be happy to work with folks on that. And see, that's great.
I've always, I've been the person where it's like, I've had a really good manager. I've been a manager and then I've had really bad managers. It's always one of those where it's sad when, you know, one person leaves and it kind of starts to bring this domino effect in a department and the manager starts to be like, well then this person takes on this duties and this person takes on those duties. And it starts to put a lot of load on the people that technically wouldn't necessarily want those duties or whatnot.
And it kind of puts a department in a crisis mode. So when you have a manager that's like, I know that I need to do something for my team or that I know I have high talent, like high performers here in great talent and ambitious women who would just really want to do the work. It's having the manager who's like, we need to take a pause even and get this reset in order to calibrate and bring in and culture, but bring in the nurturing aspect from an outsider and cultivate that culture that people are looking for. So.
That's why people like you are really important to have. I could only imagine what it would have been like. You probably would have kept me in my corporate position. So I probably would have not, not have asked you to come. I know. man. Okay. So please tell everyone where they can find you any sort of offers that you currently have. just so they can learn more about you and what you're doing with, with offers you have.
Yeah, yeah. So the best way to find me is through my website, which is just CosgroveSolutions .com. It's all one word, Cosgrove Solutions. And that offers just sort of a perspective into all the different things that I do. Therapy, coaching, supervision, consulting. So it's sort of a catch -all place. And it's also like has a free download for folks if you're interested, ways to tell that you're feeling burned out.
Molly Connolly (39:33.134)
in your career and then what to do if you're noticing that you're feeling burned out in your career. So that's totally free. You can just go there, enter your email and grab it. I'm really excited to be launching a nine week program. I'm going, I'm wrapping up beta testing, beta kind of testing this week with folks and then I'm going to be launching the full program. It's nine weeks. It's called staff rescue. And it is for managers typically in like small businesses or like mid -sized companies
who are struggling with staff retention and are looking for a way to engage and keep their staff around and not only keep them around, but have them be all in, like totally like really vibing with the company culture, I guess I'll say. So please contact me if you have interest in that. That includes one -on -one coaching with me. That also includes like worksheets and sort of reflective exercises.
And I consult with you really to understand the ins and outs of your organization to give you tailored feedback in that way. So it's a very high touch program. Those are the two like primary ways to find me. I'm also on LinkedIn, Heather Cosgrove is my name and you can find me there. I love connecting for professional opportunities. I do speaking engagements around quiet quitting.
and engaging the workforce and women in leadership and values -based leadership. So happy to connect to any of those topics too. Awesome. You got so much. Yeah. You have some part of the process with you. So that's fantastic. I can't even fathom who I would have been in 2019. I'd be like, ooh, I want leadership. And I want the values in leadership. Yes. Even going through all of that. Right.
Thank you so much, Heather, for joining me today. And I will be including all the details of where people can find you in the show notes. So yeah, thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Molly. It was fantastic. Thanks for having me.