Wanting to have another tool in your relationship toolbox so you can learn more about your current or future partner?

In this episode, Molly is joined by Erin McArthur and she discusses her journey from the nonprofit sector to becoming a coach who utilizes human design to empower women. Together we explore how human design can impact romantic relationships and improve communication and decision-making. 

Erin discusses the concept of Human Design and how it can be used to deepen self-awareness and improve relationships. She emphasizes the importance of respecting each other's energies and using human design as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Plus, Erin shares her personal experience with Human Design and the benefits it has brought to her life. 

Highlights:

• Human design is a tool that combines ancient modalities with modern technologies to provide individuals with a roadmap to understanding their energies and making decisions.

• There are four types in human design: generators, projectors, manifestors, and reflectors. Each type has a unique strategy for navigating life and interacting with others.

• Human design can have a significant impact on romantic relationships by improving communication, decision-making, and understanding each other's energies.

• Respecting each other's energies and using human design as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth can lead to more fulfilling relationships.

You can learn more about Human Design and book a session with Erin on her website: https://www.erinmcarthur.com/ 

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@reinventingthearena on Instagram

Erin has over fifteen years of experience in leadership roles within the nonprofit sector, and recently embarked on a journey of professional transformation amidst the challenges posed by the pandemic. During this process she delved into the aspects of her work that brought her the greatest fulfillment, women empowering women.

What truly ignited her passion was collaborating with women who were leaders in their own right. She firmly believes that each and every one of us possesses the capacity to achieve our aspirations.

Unfortunately, this potential often remains untapped due to a lack of guidance and societal conditioning that discourages us from recognizing it. During the last 3 years Erin has found that Human Design is the perfect tool to help us decondition ourselves and work to reach our true potentials.

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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE

Molly (00:01)

Why, hello there, lady. Welcome back to Reinventing the Arena podcast. I'm your host, Molly Connolly. Today's guest has over 15 years of experience in leadership roles within the nonprofit sector and recently embarked on a journey of professional transformation amidst the challenges posed by the pandemic. During this process, Erin McArthur dived into the aspects of her work that brought her the greatest fulfillment, women empowering women.

What truly ignited her passion was collaborating with women who were leaders in their own right. She firmly believes that each and every one of us possesses the capacity to achieve our aspirations. Over the last three years, Erin has found that human design is the perfect tool to help us decondition ourselves and reach our true potentials. Welcome to the podcast, Erin.

Erin McArthur (00:49)

Hi, thank you.

Molly (00:52)

All right, so like you had mentioned that you were in the nonprofit world for 15 years before the pandemic. Can you please share how your transformation within your professional life led you to become a coach who utilizes human design to empower women?

Erin McArthur (00:59)

Mm-hmm.

I feel like many of us through the pandemic had, I don't know if it's epiphany or crisis or somewhere in between that. And I was one of those, had both of those at the same time. And within leadership role, and we had a turnover of leadership. And at that point, it felt like it was time for me to go to my next adventure.

and kind of pass the baton, if you will. As I was doing that through the middle of the pandemic, it felt like this is an opportunity. What do I really wanna do? Who do I wanna be? Everything just felt, for me anyway, it felt very colossal during that time and eye-opening. And I wanted to explore that and what do I wanna do? So I dug in and took some coaching courses

I learned about human design from my coach who showed me what my type was. And when I learned that, it made so much sense why interactions with folks were the way they were. And I dug into that as well. And I, the coaching piece for me alone didn't feel like enough. And the human design piece, what do we do with it? So the combination of them together just felt like a beautiful marriage.

But that kinda that trajectory I spent about two years learning both pieces and putting them together.

Molly (02:43)

That's beautiful the way that you said that because a lot of people already like they do the coaching either they receive it or they go ahead and get that certification and There are so many different avenues that we can take to really embark coaching and make it Such a personalized and niche experience for not only ourselves before the people we want to serve and so that's Fantastic that you use human design. I have

barely touched my toes into human design. There is so much to it. A friend of mine actually bought me a human design book for Christmas and I'm like, wow, this is, like I think it's like almost 400 pages and I wasn't expecting that much information. But for those of us, those ladies that are listening, can you tell us what human design is and maybe just give us a brief introduction of the types.

Erin McArthur (03:15)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (03:38)

that you were talking about.

Erin McArthur (03:39)

Yeah, yeah, it's, it is a big, it's a big onion. There's a lot of layers in human design. That's for sure. It's, I call it like astrology on steroids almost like it feels like it, it takes, I mean, it takes your birth time and location. So and it combines that with, you know, it has astrology, it has I Ching, it uses the chakra system. So old modalities like that combined with

Molly (03:45)

Hahaha!

Erin McArthur (04:09)

newer technologies like genetic coding and quantum mechanics. It combines it all together and provides you with a what human design calls a body graph, which is like a roadmap to how your energies work. When I say energies, I mean how you take in the energies of others, how you perceive others, whether that be emotions or what they're thinking or.

doing pressures of other people, how you're taking that in and what you're giving to the world. And then it gives you this kind of blueprint of how you can navigate that. It also gives you what I think is really great. It gives you back your own personal way of making decisions that we're kind of taught to do it differently than how human design, how you're built to make decisions using your body, using intuition if that's what yours is.

So it, what I love about it is that it's a tool to use and hopefully my goal when I use it with folks is how do we make life easier? How do you use the energies that come naturally to you?

Molly (05:21)

Yeah, and what I love when I found out what my type was, it answered a lot of the things that I was like, why can't I understand or why can't I do this like everyone else? I'm a generator.

Erin McArthur (05:31)

What's your type? Yeah, yeah, yeah generators and what lovely generators. So you asked the five different types. So we've got Generators, which is the majority 70% 70 some percent are either a generator or a manifesting generator. So with that, knowing that you've got 70% that have this sacral knowing that this guttural knowing they're here to

Molly (05:38)

Mm-hmm.

Erin McArthur (05:55)

do things that light them up, that get them really excited about it. The things that don't light them up are really hard to find the energy to do. It's a yes and no questions are great for generators. Big open-ended questions can kind of spin them out a little bit. Like the salt of the earth for the generator is. We've also got projectors. I'm a projector.

Molly (06:04)

Yep.

Erin McArthur (06:22)

projectors are about 20% of the population. And when I found out what I was and what that meant, it made so much sense to me. So we're here to kind of be guides. Like we're really good at seeing the energy, seeing systems and guiding how that goes. So we work really well with generators energy. So we don't have the energy that you all have, but we borrow yours.

Molly (06:46)

Oh, that makes sense too.

Erin McArthur (06:48)

yeah. And so there's a beautiful synergy between generators and projectors. If there's an invitation. So there's the thing with each type is there's also a strategy. And so with a generator, the generator strategy is to wait for For something that lights them up. Wait, you know, respond to something that lights them up. It's like an internal response to an external stimulus.

Uh, and with a projector, we need to wait for an invitation. We think we, we know all these, we see things in a really penetrative way and some, and you want to share that and people might not be ready for it or want to hear it. And so if we share it without being asked, they're like, uh, okay. Or they, or they don't hear you at all, or they feel like you're judging them. Um, when I learned to just, I've learned that I need to be quiet and.

Molly (07:37)

Hahaha!

Erin McArthur (07:47)

and wait for somebody to ask. And there's ways around it a little bit. You could be like, may I share that with you? Or I have an idea, do you wanna hear it? But just blurting it out can be a little repulsive to some people. So I've learned that's why I always took it as people either love me or hate me because some people take that and they're like, run with it and they use it and others are like, go away. So I've learned to wait for that invitation.

We also have manifestors and they're about 9% of the population and they're the initiators. They're the ones that have these great ideas. They basically have, it's like a direct connection to source, whatever that is for you. And they get these ideas and they want to run with it. And they don't really know what that means or where it's going to go. They just need to go and do it and they need the freedom to do that. And their strategy is they need to inform. They need to share what that is.

And they struggle doing that because they don't know what it is yet. So they don't know how to speak about it. So there's always little duality in it as well. But they're, they're the, they're the big initiators. They get things started and then hopefully gift it to the rest of us to kind of complete. And then we have our reflectors and they are only 1% of the population and their energy is all receiving. They receive everybody's

energy there. Because of that, they have the ability to have great gain really great wisdom. Because they see how every everybody else does things, they feel it in a very deep way. And if they know that, and they know how to navigate that, they become our great wise leaders.

Molly (09:31)

amazing. I can, when you were talking about the reflector taking on energy, I was just like, as a generator thinking about how emotionally taxing that could be, but at the same time, how inspiring it could be. I haven't dove into to see if I'm actually a generator or manifesting generator, but how does that, how does that one work? Because is it just taking

Erin McArthur (09:42)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (09:59)

from both sides and kind of just meshing together.

Erin McArthur (10:04)

Kind of, the pure generator is, they're here to find the thing that lights them up and become an expert at it. They're here to really, they're like the skilled workers, the craftsmen that they master their technique, whatever they're doing. They're here to do it, do it to completion and do it.

to the best that they can and use that sacral energy to do it. They need to burn that energy. My husband's a generator and he has a garden with his sister and they've got 23 tomato plants. I don't know, a dozen or more peppers. It's like a farm and I'm like, what are you, that sounds like a lot of work, but he loves it and he uses his generator energy and he feels satisfied and fulfilled at the end of the day with that.

And I look at that and it wears me out just watching it. But that's him being a generator and going in and just going in and doing the thing that he loves. If there's a lot of like going in and continuing it and doing it over and over again, if it's lightening you up, you will always have the energy to do it. The manifesting generator is more here to like the big multi-tasker. They kind of combine that.

Molly (11:04)

Oh yeah.

Erin McArthur (11:31)

that manifesting energy of these new ideas and new ways to do things. So they usually, like they might read three books at the same time and have multiple interests, all the spinning plates. And the big difference in my interpretation is that they're able to kind of walk away and pivot and do things in a different way. And generators really just wanna get in there and complete and finesse.

Molly (11:40)

Hmm.

Erin McArthur (12:00)

things and go down their road where manifesting generators will pivot a little bit more and come up with new ways, which could irritate the pure generator because manifesting generators tend to cut corners.

Molly (12:14)

It's like when you say that I'm like, wow, I have tendencies on both. And so I really don't know. Now I feel like I need to take this over again and figure it out.

Erin McArthur (12:18)

Yeah.

Well, like to connect on offline and I'll run your chart for you. It's a lot of fun there there's and you know We we're all a little bit of all of this, you know Like you should you should feel a connection to all of them because there are projected channels. There are generated channels There's ways in your chart where you're going to see all of it, but there's one that's going to be really in the forefront

Molly (12:26)

Hahaha

Yeah, that makes sense too.

Okay, that makes sense. Well then, how can someone's human design profile, or their chart, tell you about, let's just even say they're just a romantic relationships or how they engage in those close relationships.

Erin McArthur (13:07)

There's what I love about, I love doing couples readings or teams like groups that work together as well, that people that are together a lot, because I think you can gain a lot of knowledge about how to utilize each other's skills and resources. And, you know, like, I'm a projector married to a generator. And so I'm learning that He, my generator husband

He needs to listen to a sacral. He needs to hear that click on and so I asked him yes or no questions It's not what do you want for dinner? Because he's like, I don't I don't know. It's do you want pizza? Do you want? Do you want spaghetti? Do you want you know? Yeah, but if I ask what do you want like it's it almost it gets you know, it's not it's not fun It's stressful for him. So I'm learning to ask him yes or no questions because that helps a generator listen to their sacral

Molly (13:50)

Yep, that's in our household.

Erin McArthur (14:06)

For me as a projector, I would love it when he acknowledges things that I do. If he invites me, asks for my opinion, asks me to share my thoughts, I need to be invited into that and then I'm like, oh, and then I won't be quiet. So maybe that's why he doesn't do it sometimes as well. But there's a rhythm to the different types that you can work with. You know, that when you know it, you,

can utilize pieces of it and it just makes things nicer. There's also your decision making process, it's called your authority in human design. So 53% of the population have an emotional authority, which, and this is, it's more than this, but the basics are that they need to wait through their emotional wave to gain clarity. And that's...

minimum of 24 hours. And if you're rushing these folks, and again, 53% of the population, if you're rushing these folks to make a decision, they're never going to feel good about it. So if you know that and you're somebody who has an authority that knows in the moment, then you know your answer, but give them a night, let them sleep on it, let them think about it, allow that when you learn these things, it becomes much easier to navigate those, those type, those different, how quick.

or so, you know, somebody is at how their energies are running, if that makes sense.

Molly (15:36)

Yeah, it definitely does. Like even the way you just put that just reminds me of the time I used to work in the corporate world and how I would have, you know, managers or even people underneath me asking certain questions and they, though yes or no is really helpful, but at the same time, if we had to make a decision on the spot, it was extremely stressful because it's like I needed to go check the data or do I have the wisdom or

I haven't been in this situation before, let me double check what I really think I need to go through or what would be the best bet for us. And the pandemic obviously is a great example. I used to do digital marketing. And so everything that wasn't online came online and it was a lot at once where it's like you can't just do everything. You have to just slowly but surely pull in the pieces to make everything work together. And

Erin McArthur (16:08)

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Molly (16:30)

making an executive decision like right here, right now, was not, it was not fun, and it wasn't necessarily as helpful or clean and smooth sailing as it would have if we would have sat back and really looked and taken the time, you know? So I can only imagine how that even translate in the corporate setting, other than just even a relationship setting.

Erin McArthur (16:46)

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

That's one of the pieces that I love doing is I love doing teams. I discovered human design after I left the nonprofit world where I managed to have the team. And what I know now, in the human design body graph, there's nine different energy centers, and those are either open or defined. And again, that's whether you're taking energy in from others or putting it out there.

Well, I have a defined route and that means that I have a consistent pressure to get things done, but it doesn't overwhelm me. It's, it's consistent and I know it's there and I know a deadline and I know how long it takes me to get things. Well, I'm putting that out in the world. And people who have an open route, who could have been half of my team, they are feeling that pressure double what I am because they're receiving it and they don't necessarily know it's my pressure.

that they're getting. If I would have known what I know now about a defined root and open root, I would have changed the way I handled my team completely. And it's fascinating. And that's the other thing. If you have a defined emotional center, then you're putting your emotions out there. People are feeling it. And if it's open, like mine's open, I'm feeling everybody else's. And so the goal is how do you become the observer and not the one feeling it if it's not yours? And

Molly (17:59)

Hmm.

Erin McArthur (18:18)

learning what that is and navigating that's big. And again, 53% of the population have definition there. So we've got a highly, we got a world where 50% of the population needs to run things through their emotions. And the other half is like, what are you doing?

Molly (18:35)

Yeah, that's fascinating. Like even just to think of it as, you know, what they talk about, empaths, right? And how they take on emotions, not even just like from being around other people, but it can be even from watching a movie or reading a book and taking those emotions in. And then it's like, how do I move that energy out, those emotions out in a way that's still gonna be beneficial to me and not keep me stuck or hold me down?

Erin McArthur (18:42)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Molly (19:02)

in such a different way that we weren't expecting. Because I am definitely one of those where like, I can't watch certain movies. I cannot close that off unless I'm just like, sure, I will sit here and just glaze myself and completely not engage with the movie in the way that most people can. So it's a fun little boundary, but I'd rather just be like, nah, we'll just not watch half of these intense movies.

Erin McArthur (19:22)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (19:28)

Let's go back to watching something from the 1980s, 1990s and chill.

Erin McArthur (19:33)

Well, and you say that, like, I remember being in grade school and we watched these shows where they would trap animals. And at the end, I think they all got saved. I don't I don't remember. I just remember bawling, sitting cross-legged on the floor watching this show. And my friends be like, are you OK? And I'm bawling through Benji or whatever the heck it was. And. But that's not.

Molly (19:53)

Oh my gosh, Benji.

That's a moment.

Erin McArthur (20:00)

That's a moment, right? And that's, I've got an open cycle. I'm feeling all that. So I'm learning, like my husband's defined there. I'm learning that when he's mad about something, he needs to feel that and I don't need to take it on. So I'm learning, all right, I'll be back in a minute. You'll be okay. And he's learning to run through his ways quicker because he's seeing it. It's cool.

Molly (20:19)

Hmm. Yeah, and that, all of that right there, just having that awareness allows that communication to really amplify in the relationship and make things more smooth sailing than you thought ever before. I can't imagine.

Erin McArthur (20:26)

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

Absolutely, it's changed everything like that. Like, because I can feel when he walks in a room, where he's at. So I know if he's pissed, I know if he's happy, I know all that, and I would get it. And now, I'm not running around trying to fix it if he's mad. I'm like, oh, you went through something. Let me know when you're better. I'm here to help, and then let him do it.

Molly (20:51)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so for him when he processes that emotion, it's just more or less that he needs to do it himself in order for him to feel better. He doesn't need someone else to help him process that emotion. Okay.

Erin McArthur (21:04)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah, and that's one of the things that I do spend a lot of time on for folks, especially if they're open, the places where people have open, and if you look at a body graph, you can get a, you can Google it and find, get them free, any, lots of places, so anyone who's listening, you can do that, and any of the shapes, the triangles and squares that are on the body graph, any of those that are white, those are open, those are where you're receiving other people that have color in those, in those shapes. And

when you receive it, it's not consistent. It's based on who you're around. And so you don't necessarily know that it's not yours and it's amplified. So that's where you get the most conditioning from other people. It's where if you have an open, again, emotional center, you're feeling everybody else's, you're feeling it amplified. And they're just gonna ride their wave like they normally should and they have to. And I know I always used to try to step in.

Molly (21:52)

Hmm

Erin McArthur (22:05)

Like, how can I, I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna make them happy. So that's not helping. It's now how do I observe it? And I can throw a lifeline out, but I don't need to get in the water with them.

Molly (22:17)

Yeah, because then, you know, what does that do to you too?

Erin McArthur (22:20)

Right, right.

Molly (22:22)

Oh my goodness. Okay, so then this can impact your communication, your awareness, how you navigate different problems that pop up in life as well as your relationship and how you even think about approaching your partner in certain days or certain times. Like what else am I missing? Like just all the good examples that you mentioned, there seems to be

Erin McArthur (22:48)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (22:51)

numerous areas where this is human design is helpful to know about yourself and your partner as you know continue to grow together in a relationship.

Erin McArthur (23:02)

I it's immense. I it helped all the things that you mentioned for sure. I think it also just helps just Like with you've got kids like no one there's you know if you have a generator child go to the yes and no questions. I mean, it doesn't take a lot to make shifts in a relationship with this. If you just respect each other's energy like just the yes and no questions to a generator will save a lot of stress.

Like it doesn't have to be this big shift. It could be, and knowing that they need to sleep on it, like allowing them to have that space instead of demanding an answer. So I think it's just this respect that you gain that just comes with knowing how to approach your partner in a more thoughtful way. Again, I wish I would have known this when I had my team, like the...

the amount of pressure that I look back and I probably gave and stuff that I'm like, I think a lot of like, you know, I make up stories sometimes when you don't have the whole, like, I used to do that a lot. I still do that. I think we all naturally do that. And I'm learning through this also, like what this what I love about human design is this gives you your ownership, this gives you back, how do you navigate the world? And you are it's all about you. And how are you doing that?

and the onus is on you and the expectations are about your expectations for you and letting other people do that for themselves. And so there's

like, it's how are you doing this for you? And the relationships are better because of it.

Molly (24:43)

Yeah, that's great. And a lot of us always look outward instead of going inward. And so human design definitely gets to shift that focus and allows us to use it as a tool to make some inward changes, those inner world things to help better us in the outside world. So, no, you didn't. No, I was just like thinking, I was just like process everything you said because

Erin McArthur (24:49)

Mm-hmm.

It's no...

Yes, thank you for saying that so much better than I did.

Thank you.

Molly (25:12)

You know, we take these personnel, like some people, I mean, back in the day, we all probably loved taking like, what pizza are you? But at the same time, like the cosmopolitan quizzes of like, what should you wear on a sexy date night? Like those sort of things, and those were always fun to take when we were bored. And we never really utilized them. And when we have different tools like human design at our fingertips.

Erin McArthur (25:28)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Molly (25:40)

to use and start to learn more about and work with someone like yourself to help us grow even faster. Because that's another thing, you can take this, like you said, anywhere, Google it, whatnot. But working with someone who actually knows and has the experience in using it with people is going to accelerate those areas where you're like, oh, I'm gonna need to learn how to stop pushing my partner to tell me how he's feeling. That's really hard for me to do, why is that?

Erin McArthur (25:58)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (26:09)

go work with a coach because not only are they gonna help you recognize that in yourself with the human design, but you have the tools as a life coach to be able to say, oh, let's see what other areas might actually be forcing you to have that reaction so we can work through those in order to give you a better experience of communicating with your partner. So that's fantastic, the two combinations.

Erin McArthur (26:23)

with me.

Yeah, I, that's why I love it. And you know, you brought up those, those quizzes. Like I, there's, I'm one of those people that did that, um, all the different, like I'm a green, you know, which means that I'm, you know, big picture and not a detail person, you know, like all the different analysis things that I've done that sit on a shelf, like what I love about human design is it's

you I've been working it for three years now for myself little and learning it but I've been utilizing it and I can't say the last time I picked up one of those I don't know reports I got my former job about how I like to learn and I don't I just remember it was green I think like I haven't done anything with it.

Molly (27:23)

You know, I think what's super funny is I don't even remember what that one was called, but I remember taking that and I was like, kind of a similar thing. I took it right after I left a job that I didn't really feel appreciated or cared for much. And so it completely shifted by the, by the last few years before the pandemic and being like, Oh, I'm not any of these anymore. But my, what I perceived of myself at the time was really what those results were. And it's

Erin McArthur (27:36)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Molly (27:49)

You know, it was one of those words like, well, what can I do? Oh, I just learned how to communicate these four different ways. If someone's a yellow, a red, a green or a blue, that's nothing. Great, communicating. Yes, we need to do that in the corporate world. But are you wanting to have a deeper relationship with yourself and other people? Or are you here for superficial or surface level communication and relationships? Check the box, get it done.

Erin McArthur (27:59)

Mm-hmm.

Molly (28:14)

And you said that how many of us are generators who really want to have something that lights us up? I can only imagine that like the pandemic helped light a fire under those generators to be like, I am unhappy in my job. And now the great resignation happens. And it's just so impactful to say, here's this information, this tool, and it goes to all different areas of our life that we can learn about.

Erin McArthur (28:20)

Okay.

And that's another level of it. There's also your profile. And those are numbers that are by your top four gates. And those would signify like, those are really important to those. Like, I'm a two for which means the two means that I need to be alone, that I need to have some alone time and that I

tend to be really good at things but don't know it until people point it out. And then number four, which also means, and here's where things, there's duality in human design. I need my networks and I need to be around people a lot. And so, and that's how I get, I get things done is through the people that I know, like they see me and, but I have to have balance there of it. So I, like I, those online tests, I don't know how many times I've taken, are you an introvert? Are you an extrovert?

Molly (29:32)

Oh yeah.

Erin McArthur (29:33)

And I've always thought I was an introvert. And all my friends are like, girl, you're an extrovert. And all the tests say I'm an extrovert. But this 2-4 tells me I'm both. So there's a, yeah, do you remember what your profiles are, like a 3-6 or a?

Molly (29:45)

That makes sense.

I'm a 3-1, but that's why I was just gonna ask you too, like, so can it switch from a 4-2 or does it matter?

Erin McArthur (29:58)

No, not for this one. Like there's some, some can switch, some can't. So it just depends. But like the three, so you're a three one.

Molly (30:02)

Gotcha.

Yes.

Erin McArthur (30:08)

Okay, so the three would be your experimenter. You want to experiment, trial and error. Like nobody can tell you how to do anything. You gotta get it and do it yourself. Right?

Molly (30:19)

Well, yeah, that sounds cool. It sounds about right sometimes.

Erin McArthur (30:22)

Yeah, it's like learning through, you know, experience is really what it is. And it's, it's the real the lesson in a three is, is learning that the quote unquote failures aren't failures, they're learning, they're learning, it's a learning curve and not to take like, not to take those as failures, but to take it as an experience. And now you know, and now you can go to the next level, whatever.

And then the one is details, like you need to know all the details before you're going to get into something. The researcher, kind of.

Molly (30:56)

I'm laughing, I'm really holding back. The pandemic completely shifted the detail part for me, but I used to be the person that color coded everything. A color had a meaning, like blue meant sleeping. Like I would color code my planner and now I'm like, oh, I just miss having that structure and bless my husband. My husband is a forensic mechanical engineer. And so I know he loves structure, but I am so much more like.

Erin McArthur (31:07)

Yeah.

Wow.

Molly (31:24)

let's go into the details. And he's like, the details of what? I'm like, of budget planning or food meal planning. And he'll just be like, how long are we doing this for? And I'm like, forever. I'm like, and so he's just like, you do that, I will follow along. And I'm like, okay. But you know, he helped, I don't even know what his profile is. I need him to figure out what his birth time is so we can do these things because it's so much fun to learn. But yeah, now that makes a lot of sense.

Erin McArthur (31:34)

I'm sorry.

Molly (31:53)

So if someone was a 1-3, would they be similar to me? Or would they, it's a completely different profile.

Erin McArthur (31:56)

Yeah.

So the only difference is like one of the first number, I'm seeing if I, sometimes I reverse this. So if I reverse this, nobody come at me. But you know, the first number is, or what comes in like three months before you're born, it's kind of like what your ancestors give you. And so it's traits that you might not necessarily see so well but other people might see it in you more. And then the second number is,

Molly (32:20)

Mmm.

Erin McArthur (32:29)

your design, which comes in the day or the minute you're born, and that one you would recognize more. Like that one you're going to really feel more. So they play with each other, but it's a combination. So I wouldn't worry too much about where they're at.

Molly (32:49)

Well that's fantastic. So I wasn't planning to ask about gates because I feel like sometimes those get, is that correct? That's what those are called, the gates?

Erin McArthur (32:57)

Yeah. The numbers, yeah.

Molly (32:58)

Okay, yeah, but that is also such a really interesting layer within knowing your type. So just to see that as an example for everyone, I'm the generator who's feeling like I need to master a certain skill or whatnot, but I learn through experimenting, I learn through the lessons and I don't see them right away because I see them as failures, which would make sense if I'm trying to master a craft, but at the same time I'm a devil of the details. So...

Erin McArthur (33:18)

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Molly (33:28)

you can see just even from, or you can hear from just our conversation, how much information you can get from just those two areas. And there are multiple areas in your profile and your chart. So now that we've gone to this part, are there certain profiles, if we wanted to go back to the romantic side? You were talking about just you and your husband, a projector and a generator, but are there even like...

certain ones that have gates, which ones actually match with each other, or do you feel that that's not even a thing?

Erin McArthur (34:02)

I, you know.

I guess it can be a thing. I don't like to get hung up on defining it too much like that. And what I mean by that is I think we can be with anybody as long as we're respecting each other and listening to each other. And if we know these things and we know that you're going to make a chore chart that's seven pages long for Monday grocery shopping, and your husband's like, all right, how long is it going to take?

Molly (34:26)

Hahaha

Erin McArthur (34:32)

she needs to do this and I'm lover and I'm gonna listen to it. You know, there's it's like my husband in his garden. I was I used to get mad that he would spend so much time in the summer. And once I learned that he needs to do that to feel satisfied and it fills him with joy.

And I don't know why I couldn't figure it out before human design, but before human design, I was like, Jesus, what's with the farm? And I feel like a jerk now thinking back to that. And now I'm like, go to your farm. Like, go get satisfied. So it's as a projector that generator digging in and perfecting really, you know, something, is it something that I do as a projector?

Molly (34:59)

Yeah.

Erin McArthur (35:21)

And now that I see that, I admire that in him in a way that I couldn't before I knew that. So I think if there are strong differences, it's something that you can learn to really appreciate in a different way, knowing that comes naturally to them, and that's how they thrive. The profile numbers, it's helpful, again, to know that you need details or details help you, that you're gonna try it. So like he could know, I'm not gonna tell her how to do it.

I'm going to give her the tool so she can try it herself. And then the gates, the gates are the numbers that are in the energy centers. So they'll be a bunch of different numbers in there. And those will be circled or colored in some way with a line going down that shows that you have an activation there. Those in a partner, and this is getting even deeper, if you've got two that connect and you create a channel together, then that creates more synergy between each other.

So there's even more layers.

Molly (36:23)

That's so yeah, that is just even fascinating to know how that would work in a relationship and how that, as long as you respect who each other is with your, especially with your human design type or profile that you can really learn so much more and grow your relationship just by, going into those deeper levels like you

So when you work with couples, like how deep do you go in order to help them either like improve their relationship or learn about each other?

Erin McArthur (37:00)

What I love to do, if I had it my way every time, I would do individual sessions where we go over each person's chart on their own so that they can learn their own energies and then spend some time on that. Like, I don't know, there are a couple weeks and experiment with that, with the information I gave them and then come together. And then we talk about

kind of the same thing. So your partner's this, you're this, here's how they work together. And we really, starting off with just the type and authority and strategy is a great starting place. You mentioned this when we kicked off, this 400 page book that you got. If you go deep, I feel like I lose people. And if we can start off with just the basics and how does that help?

then that's where I like to start. And then come back, every time you come back, we'll go a little deeper, a little deeper, and see how it works together. Because it's, I think in human design, we call it the experiment. Once you start living your design, when you really start trying it out, they call it the experiment. So that's what it is, experiment with it, and then come back and then we can dig in more.

It's also so different depending on the couple or the partnership and where we end up going with it. But they kind of help lead where that goes and where we need to go with it.

Molly (38:35)

Okay, well that's fantastic. So I've loved learning all about, well, not all about, the very high level of human design and how this has opened up my eyes more to, you know, diving a little bit more as their self discovery for myself, as well as maybe the people listening, as well as trying to figure out what my husband may be so we can even work on our relationship a little bit deeper. So.

How can people find you if they want to, you know, work on their human design profile, if they want to do this as a couple, like, tell us all the things.

Erin McArthur (39:14)

So I've got a website that's erinmcArthur.com and that's where I put everything. I've got, I do one-on-one reading chart sessions, I do coaching sessions, I do couples, groups. I'm working on doing, I'm really excited about this for this year, a cohort where we meet monthly.

And so it's here in Omaha, but it's, we meet monthly and, and then we get a group and together we get to kind of navigate a year of working our, working our profiles and, and our, our body graphs and experimenting with it and then feedback. And then I get to kind of lead it with today we're going to talk about this or that, you know, I don't know. We'll, we'll see how, what it, what it fully turns into. But

Molly (39:41)

Mmm.

Erin McArthur (40:08)

I'm super excited about that. That kicks off in February. But in that, you can jump on my website, see information, schedule there. And I love starting off with just a one-on-one reading, getting it going.

Molly (40:24)

Fantastic. Well, Erin, thank you so much for joining me today. I really appreciate your insight and your knowledge on this area of another tool that women can put into their toolbox to deepen their relationship with themselves as well as, you know, grow a relationship with a partner, so.

Erin McArthur (40:43)

Thank you. This is my pleasure. This was super fun. Thank you so much for inviting me.