Shift Your Mindset & Transform Your Life
When today’s podcast guest was finished with her law and PR internships in college…
She didn’t feel connected to her work and decided to take a year off to find herself.
Fast forward a few years to where Krystine Sherwood was sitting in a hotel lobby while her beauty team was styling models' hair for New York Fashion Week. Here she felt it was time to figure out her purpose and that was when her coaching journey began!
Known as The Beauty Pro Coach, Krystine helps Beauty & Barber Pros reach their version of success in and out of the salon, spa or barber shop through 1:1 coaching, online education and podcasting.
In our episode Krystine and I discuss the importance of her clients mindset as they work with their clients, develop their business, and have romantic relationships.
She shares how her clients in the beauty and barber industry usually have difficult, if not toxic, relationships as a result of their giving, people-pleasing spirit. They give until there's nothing left.
Overall, Krystine has found it all comes down to the woman KNOWING herself, her purpose, being real, raw with herself to be self-aware so that she can stand firm in her boundaries and attract that man who will meet her emotionally and spiritually.
If you’re a giver, a people-pleaser, in the beauty industry or just want to align more with what lights you up, you have to give this episode a listen!
Learn more about Krystine:
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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE
Molly Connolly (00:02.126)
Hey there, lady. Welcome back to another episode of the reinventing the arena. I'm excited to have you join me today and my guest. She helps beauty and barber pros reach their version of success in and out of the salon, spa or barbershop. And she does this through one -on -one coaching, online education, and podcasting. Meet the beauty pro coach, Kyrstine Sherwood. Hi. my gosh. I'm so happy to have you.
What I, I just have to get off this off my chest. Like when I found you as a coach, because you know, we're in the same IPEC group. I loved your energy right away with like, I went to your Instagram feed and how, you know, open and honest that you are about like, there's this going on. There's that and being like, people don't invest in themselves. You know, what, what are you going to do about that? Cause you can't really fix things if you don't.
So I really loved just your all around perspective in life and then your hyper focus on the beauty world. So. Love that. Well, thank you for having me. This is so fun for me. I love connecting and collaborating with all kinds of people, especially women in business and in coaching and just people who just want to be better. That's like a thing that I'm going through right now, you know, and it just feels good. And
For me personally, being real and raw is like everything. It's definitely one of my core values. And as I continue to grow in this human experience, it's like, yeah, be authentic with me, be real with me. Don't be fake, obviously, but it's just like a thing. It's just like a thing I'm going through. I just became a dog mom, so maybe that has something to do with it.
Hey, I love dogs. That dog probably needs to have its own Instagram, but that sounds like also a lot of work. So please know. Okay. Well, I also wanted to tell you that because I was looking forward to today, I actually researched and found you on another podcast called the hairdresser's strong show. Yes, it was awesome. I loved hearing your journey about how
Molly Connolly (02:16.206)
you became a coach for women in the salon and spa industry. Can you share that journey for the ladies that are listening today? Absolutely. Absolutely. So my journey, it was, it's a long time coming. You know, my mother had her baby shower of me in the salon. So it's kind of like fate, destiny, foreshadowing, whatever you want to look at it as. And,
I remember, you know, going to university, you know, I got my degree in public law and public relations. And, I just didn't, I didn't want anything to do with what my parents did, what my mom did. It's like, no, no, no, no, mom, I'm going to take care of it. I'm going to be a lawyer, right? And then I get there. I do my internships. I work at the PR firms. I do all this stuff. And it was so for me, it was so like the same thing every day.
And I said, okay, fine. You know what? I can't. So I graduated university, went back home. I said, I'm going to take a year off to find myself. And that turned into, I don't know how many years up until today. And I ended up using what I went to school for into the family business, which was a salon and spa. After doing that for a couple of years, all of a sudden I am in a toxic relationship, really bad, really ugly.
I'm depressed. I don't feel like I have any direction for my life. I feel like I'm just the front desk girl. And I just, I was like, my goodness, what am I doing? Okay. So then we go to New York fashion week. And she's, you know, my team is working the hair at behind the shows there on the models and
I remember sitting in my hotel lobby in Soho and I was like, I gotta, I gotta get to the bottom of this on this trip. This is the trip. And I, I don't know what I typed in into Google, but I ended up finding IPEC, which is the school that we got our coaching credentials from. And I said, my goodness, this is what I've been doing. This is what I've been doing like my whole life with.
Molly Connolly (04:37.87)
everybody. You know, since I was a kid, this is, I get paid for this. So then we leave New York, I go back home to Florida, and I immediately enroll into the program. And the program, I think is nine months, but you know, going through everything and all the certifications, it's about a year or so. And
That year was so transformational for me because as we go through the program, yes, we're learning how to be a coach, but we ourselves are being coached and formed into the best version that we could be. We're peeling back layers of our onion calloused selves and we are rediscovering ourselves so that we can help our clients discover themselves. And,
It's basically the golden rule in action. You know, you want a friend, you got to be a friend, you know, do to others, but you would have them do to you. And so, that's really my, my story in a nutshell. That is fantastic. This is one thing I like to tell my listeners because, or even just when I talk to my clients about how what you're living in right now, isn't like your destiny and it's not your final stop. You have the choice to make something new and on find opportunities that work for you.
So the fact that you were like, no, I'm not going to do salon where I'm going to go do PR and law and then getting into it. And it just feels so un, unauthentic that you wanted to go back and find yourself. And ironically, it just was in your jeans the entire time. and then the fact that like you were already coaching and you just didn't know you were coaching. I feel like a lot of us that our coaches didn't really pick that up until, you know, the industry started really moving forward, or being more well known.
So I love it. I love how all that transpired for you. Yeah, it's amazing. You know, looking back and you see all these experiences in your life and you see how they all tie in together to make you who you are in this present moment. Like that is for real. Like that is no, you know, make believe, you know, woo woo stuff. That's for real.
Molly Connolly (06:54.83)
And I try to tell my clients that too, like this was all meant to be at this moment, at this time in this conversation, because now is when you're emotionally, mentally, spiritually ready for something like this. I like how you just were talking about bringing all those together and you have such a passion to help women with their businesses and mindset. It's extremely important and impactful. Like what you were just talking about with those past experiences.
So how do you help your clients make that shift to focus on their mindset? So I help them through one -to -one coaching, online education, a brand new podcast that's coming out. I'm very excited about. But in more practical terms, I really like to meet them where they're at. So if you go to my Instagram bio, you'll see that, you know, my, my key phrase is, you know, reach their version of success.
We all, whatever business you're in, if you're a woman, you, your definition of success is so much different than mine, than yours, than your neighbor, you know, and we come to a coach or a consultant or a therapist or whatever it is. And we say, listen, I have this problem. I need you to just give me the plan, the step -by -step so that I can figure it out and move on. That's fine. Great. I'm so happy that you're so organized.
When you, when you start working on those bullet points that you create, at least with me and my coaching, you know, you realize, my problem that I don't have enough clients is actually because I am super afraid of rejection and I'm afraid to talk to people and I'm afraid to put myself out there because when I was a little girl, XYZ happened. And we carry that with us.
in all different areas. And that's what happens in, you know, in bad relationships. We go after and are attracted to people who remind us of somebody in our childhood that just, you know, we're constantly trying to prove ourselves to them and no, I'm, I come pick me, pick me and it doesn't work. And then we, we apply that stuff into different areas of our lives, especially in our businesses.
Molly Connolly (09:16.59)
And, until you're just totally fed up. Going with it. yeah. The same thing over and over again. Yeah. It's one of those things where sometimes you obviously have had women come to you as well, where it's like, they want that blueprint. They want that plan. And some of the things that are like, just a framework, even be like, we're going to cover these three things in the first two months or something, whatever. And.
they're wanting to look at it and wanting to dig in, but then they realize, Ooh, this is going to be tough. Cause I've never gone this direction. I've never reflected. I've never been vulnerable. And when they start to connect the dots, what I love about having a framework is that then it's like, we don't even have to follow the a hundred percent framework because we found the spot that we need to work on right now. and you know, part of what you're saying is like,
They have to have that mindset to be able to do it as well as the emotional capacity to then work through this so they can have what they're looking for in their lives. Like you said, from everything from relationship to business. So, yes, absolutely. And I love it that the way you phrased it, like, we found this right here at this moment. Okay. We're going to work on this right now. Exactly. Exactly. Like if you don't tackle the things that pop up right then and there,
you're wasting your own time, your own energy, your own money at the end of the day. Right. Cause you're not tackling the thing that just came up for you. Right. Yeah. Well, then what do you think is the most important thing a woman, no matter their career path, right. To know what that they need to know about their mindset so they can achieve that end goal. I feel like, especially as women were always multitasking.
And I think that we end up multitasking our thoughts, if that makes any sense. Right. So like we end up like thinking about this thing. And then we're thinking about like, got to take care of the family. Got to go pick up the kids, got to go take care of the pets, got to go work, got to go do this thing for the job. And this is a great idea. We've got to implement that. And like, to me, that's asking your thoughts, right? Your brain is going to explode. You're going to be burnt out overwhelmed and just.
Molly Connolly (11:40.43)
screw everything and take a nap. Right. And I'm watching like Bridget Jones with ice cream. Like, we don't do that. so I feel like a good, a good thing, whatever your career is to, to fill up your cup, find things that make you literally light up. Yeah. Recently it's been my, it's been my puppy, but it's also been CrossFit.
I have never in my life been like a sporty person. I was always like the nerdy girl in the cafe reading books and doing theater and no sports at all. And now I'm over here climbing ropes and flipping tires. Like you, you leave there and you're like, wow, you feel so strong. Yeah. Clear headed. And, and you are surrounded by people who want to improve.
And so that's contagious. So that's going to help your mindset get acquainted with what it means to be around like healthy people who want to be better. So you're like microdosing yourself with that. Right. So that's the first thing. You got to shift your whole environment for your mindset. Then really
Do that self -examination. Do that self -reflection. Be honest, real and raw with yourself because you're not able to change your mindset or be resilient because you're lying to yourself. Right. You know, you got to sit down with you. There's only one you, no one's going to do this work for you. You are the one stopping yourself from whatever it is, relationships, workouts, business, whatever. Like you have to sit down.
and just journal an ugly cry your way and face all the emotions so that you can get to the other side. That's so true. So speaking of that, I'm going to shift us in another direction. So how often are you and your clients affected, you know, by their relationships when it comes to building their mindset? Okay. So for beauty and barber professionals,
Molly Connolly (13:59.694)
First of all, the beauty industry in and of itself is an intimate place. Right. And we talked to our hairdressers and estheticians and about all kinds of things. And depending on who you see, you can leave your visit, you know, super inspired or super like, what the hell is that? And as the hairdresser or barber or esthetician themselves,
for them, they get to hear all these different stories from their clients and they get motivated and they say, well, if they can do that, I can do that. And, and it's a cool thing. But if the professional, if the service provider is not well in their heart and in their mind, like if their home life is just a disaster and full of drama and just icky yucky stuff and they just are very victim mindset.
It's going to show up in the way they highlight hair in the way that they, they touch your face during a facial or a massage or the nail art. It's so, it sounds so silly, but it really does happen. And what I find is, and this is something that I say in my coaching is that, you know, I help you as your personal Jiminy cricket. I help you match your head with your heart because we go on autopilot.
And when it comes to mindset, you need to make sure that at home, that your mindset is good, that you are happy with the life that you're living, that you know your purpose, whether that's to show up and make people happy or beautiful in the salon or not, you need to know who you are before you show up and you start transforming people into who they want to be. Cause you're going to transform them into somebody that they don't want to be because you don't know who you are. Right.
Did that answer the question? Yeah, I really do feel that's super important. I used to, back in the day, I waited tables on and off for about 10 years. And it's not the same industry, but very similar. And when I was having my own personal struggles, before even my first marriage, it was so hard to go into work. It was so difficult to show up with a happy face. I had to always mask myself.
Molly Connolly (16:23.726)
And I could physically and emotionally feel when I was half -assing it. And when I was, I would get half -ass tips. Yeah. You know, the, the money side point of like, I'm working for my livelihood here with a tip and how I present myself is really important. So that even means if I'm running late and I don't put makeup on, I throw my hair up. Like some people are like, that's fine. I'm like,
some people that's not fine. So depending on how you even present yourself physically, it depends on what type of service hypothetically that you're going to give. So I love how you connected that because we're not one dimensional beings where we can just like isolate ourselves and work and just pretend that nothing happens at home or those external relationships. So I love how you bring that up that way. So.
just because there has been a lot of this discussion over the last year, few years, excuse me, that like, I'm not going through that problem anymore, but men have been, I would say, intimidated by women, you know, especially when it comes to their careers, if they're successful or they make more money than them, what sort of relationship issues do you see come up with your clients when they're starting to either, you know, move into that
growth mindset or they're starting to succeed in their career or their business? In the beauty world, it is very common for a hairdresser, a barber, a nail tech, a cition, it's very common for them to have really bad toxic relationships. I tried actually to look up some statistics on this and I couldn't find any.
I don't think you really know about it unless you are in the industry itself, but I have a feeling it has something to do with that giving nurturing spirit and you're a giver and then you attract a taker. And then it's just like this endless cycle of codependency abuse in some cases. And when a beauty pro is growing,
Molly Connolly (18:43.278)
emotionally, there's a shift that happens and it, and it's, it's ever so slightly, but the partner does pick up on it and they see it and they're like, excuse me, what? And then when you add money into it and all of a sudden, you know, they're making money, they have employees, they're doing retreats or they're doing all this kind of development, business development or personal development stuff.
The partners, I don't see it as much intimidation as it is jealousy because there is such a miscommunication, misunderstanding of what these beauty professionals are doing. They just love what they do and it lights them up to have a job that they just love showing up to every day. And they literally get to play with Barbies.
all day long, but they said these Barbies talk back, you know, and, and you, you, you change people's lives. And so the partners see that and they say, well, you're just, you're just playing with makeup all day. That's not a real job. There's no urgency or demand or, or, or if they do love their partner, they say, well, I'm just the help. So like, you don't even need me around.
Like, what am I supposed to do? I just go in there and fix a light bulb. Like what? And so it's just a jealousy of them not finding their purpose. You know, the partnership jealous, they haven't found their purpose, their love, their, what sets them on fire. Whereas we have, and we just want everybody to know it and just be happy. And I had a couple of clients talk to me about this and.
My conclusion is, all right, so this is happening. It's happened to me. It happened to my parents. I'm a second generation industry professional, you know? So my mother was a hairdresser and they had a divorce. And then you have me in a bad relationship that was just yuck. And you learn, okay, so then how, how do we change this? Okay. So we changed this by learning about ourselves.
Molly Connolly (21:05.326)
but then how do we lovingly communicate and teach our partners why we love what we do? Like let's bring them in, in a way that, especially for men, that empowers them, that makes them feel good about themselves and about their girl and about the whole situation. And when I presented that to some of my clients, they said, whoa,
You're so right. How do we do that? And I'm like, how do you do that? Let's talk about it. So it was good. It was a good, eye opening experience. wow. I love that. Like, of course it's really fun when a client goes and asks the question back to you. thank you for being open and vulnerable saying like, of course your experience too, you know, just briefly. it's, it's one of those things that.
I feel, especially in the service industry, you did make a really good point. Like we're such givers and it's finding out how much can we give without taking stuff away from ourselves, energetically, emotionally, physically, all that, and maybe creating those boundaries, even maybe with clients just a little bit so we can protect our energy and have it for the whole day for every client, right? But then having a different type of energy to bring home and really how
to be attentive to the self and the person that we come home to. What I find really interesting is the men, like you said, the ones that are very have found their thing that's on the, like sets them on fire, figured out their purpose, but also the men that are very comfortable with themselves, that know themselves enough that they know it's not a teeter totter relationship. It's a one plus two equals us, we, you know?
So it's not a fight, whoever makes this money, whoever does that, you know, it's never a 50 -50 anyways in a relationship. But the fact of like coming home and saying, well, how was your day and doing those small little things so that they can feel important in just the beginning of the communication. But then to also say, this is the reason why I do what I do, because it makes me happy and makes me come home happy to see you. Like that's one of the basics right there, you know? Yeah. I love that. And that's.
Molly Connolly (23:28.974)
That's a big thing that's happening in the industry right now for hairdressers and beauty pros is that there's a shift happening and more boundaries, because they love what they do so much and they give so much that they forget that they got to turn it off. If you, you gotta have set hours, you know, this 24 hour hairdressing thing. No, that's a thing by the way that does happen.
no, you have a set hour schedule and as soon as five o 'clock, seven o 'clock hits, you put your phone away. No more clients. It's family time. yeah. Do that because you're going to drive yourself to burn out city and that's not fun. yeah. And like even just for coaching. Yeah. I used to have set hours. I mean, I have set hours now, but before years ago, I have set hours and then with client be like, well, I can't meet with you. Can we meet on Sunday? I mean, like sure.
and I drop everything to meet with my client. And there are some clients where you're so, just you love them so much, you wanna help them and you're willing to sacrifice yourself. But when you do that over and over and over again, not only are you sacrificing yourself, but you're sacrificing all the relationships and people around you. Now, this is great because I feel like we're going in this great direction of discussing how much like even just the careers and relationship.
and the uniqueness of the beauty pro and salon owners, just all of the uniqueness in how those dynamics work for them. When we are lit up and we have really grown into ourselves and we are so happy and presenting that side of ourselves, we might have a partner that's not really seeing that direction that we are going. And you said to like, to bring them in, you know, how have you helped a client actually move through that moment? Yes. Okay. So.
I had a, I had a couple of clients actually with this and I did, I did, you know, plant this seed of, okay, well, you know, how can we make them feel empowered? Like what job can we give them so that they can learn more, that they can appreciate what you do more, that they can see that you're not ignoring them, that this is just part of the job.
Molly Connolly (25:52.654)
And the cool thing about creatives such as beauty and barber pros is that they are creative, but they work things out and they come up with solutions like that you would never even imagine. And so what one of my clients did is she brought her hubby to a hair show and hair show is like,
It is a convention for the industry, but it is a huge party that is a crash course on what it means to be a beauty professional. and I remember my first hair show and I was just like a deer in headlights. I was like, okay, what am I doing here? I do not belong here. This is crazy. What is happening? So, so to bring your partner into that.
he's going to feel overwhelmed. They're going to be like, what is happening? So that's one way that she, she figured another kind of mine. She shared her vision for her business, for her salon, for her building and her hubby was in, I think construction of some kind. And so he literally built her dream salon, her dream building.
So that's like a huge, a bit, a couple, couples building business building literally, you know, and, and, you know, we all going through those things and having that education, you're still going to like run into little hiccups and, and problems, but you are sharing with each other. And I think that's what happens at least for me, when it comes to business, I like to just do it.
Don't ask me questions. I got to get this done. I'll tell you later. Like, leave me alone. I got to do this. and I feel like we do that as women be just because we're just like on the go and we're like on fire blazing trails, but we got to like, take a step back, hold on, bring them in, you know, and like, and then explain it and then you guys can move together. And, it's a little longer of a process, but it pays off way more. yeah. I could definitely see that, especially that last client.
Molly Connolly (28:17.07)
I could only see how the husband was like, my God, now I can contribute to her dream. I can, you know, be a provider in a different way. And just even the satisfaction, even though, yeah, building something, there's a lot of little hiccups and just in that, but all together, but being able to say, I built this for my woman. Yeah. Like that automatically feels fantastic as well as being able to be like, showing that to his buddies and be like, look what I did for my lady.
yeah exactly I just get chills I get chills for them I don't know if you saw the Barbie movie but. Have a chance yet. You gotta go see it because little Ken. he's in there and he goes, you are enough, so if there's any guys listening, you are enough okay. So perfect. continue. my gosh all right well.
I really have loved our conversation today. This has been fantastic. I really feel that the ladies are going to be able to see how this works together and how to bring in their partner when they are doing things either, you know, even if it's not just their career, it could be in other areas of their life that are, they are so dedicated. Maybe it's CrossFit, you know, just like that. I'm really cool. Molly, like CrossFit has become, even for me, it has become my new model.
for like relationships because I'll tell you, I'll tell you, and all the ladies listening, like, okay, Prince William is like my new like role model boyfriend, okay? It's true, he's like so like in charge, okay. And then you have CrossFit. There are so many couples, at least in Mind Gym, there's so many couples that they are a team, like in a literal sense and also in the workout and they are just like helping each other.
And it's so important that you find people, partners that share your same values, even if it means waking up in the morning and getting it done. Like one person waking up early and another person just lagging behind. It's such a fight sometimes, you know, like be with people who match you and your energy because that's where it all starts. And then from there.
Molly Connolly (30:36.814)
You can help each other market each other's businesses and, and just, and enjoy life so much smoother and easier. My, my coach from IPEC, Bridget Simmons, she one day told us that you will know that a relationship, whatever relationship romantic or not is good and is meant for you because it'll flow like the beach waves. Yes.
totally seamless. So that's always stuck with me and it's my, my, my thing I always think about. So, yeah. You have made so many great points and just sharing this right now because, and so relatable. So I had mentioned before we started, recording that I'm a former athlete and I used to, so I used to swim in college and then I took some time off and there's other things that I can do. There's something called master's swimming. And so you can swim from 18 to it's like an age group swing 18 to
105. It's crazy. So I constantly wanted to get back in the water and I would date people that were like, no, just stay in bed and snuggle with me. And so for about five to eight years, I just settled and, didn't bother to go work out because of me wanting to be a people pleaser in this relationship. Right. And when I met my now husband, one of the first things I found extremely fascinating.
was that he got up before me. I used to get up at 445 and he got up at 415 to work out. And I was like, fantastic. This guy is fan. This is great. Now he wakes up at 445 when I do, but we still get a workout. You know, and we are doing the same thing, but like, it's still helpful to have someone, like you said, same values, maybe some things that you're interested in just a little, you don't have to be exact.
That's how you bring fun uniqueness to your relationship. But just like you said, all those other relationships were like a roller coaster for me. There was high highs and low lows. And this one it's smooth sailing on those waves as you're talking about. Yeah. There's hiccups where there's like a 10 foot wave and then there's might be a 30, but at the same time it's very smooth and enjoyable. So I love that. I love it. this is great.
Molly Connolly (32:57.614)
Can you please tell all the ladies where they can find you and connect with you learn more about what you offer, especially for any of those ladies that are in the service industry for salon and spa. Yes, absolutely. So the best place is my Instagram. You can go there, tap the link in my bio. You can see all the other podcasts I have going on all the areas I'm working on right now. You can even join my VIP email list.
which is the second best place to find me. And then of course, the podcast that is coming up. So those are the three major ways. And I always love connecting. You can always send me a DM. I am not shy. Yes, that's very true. We're going to connect with you. Well, and I also, before we head out, I want to know more about, you had mentioned this to me off air, about the five, your difference between your five week coaching and your three,
Is it your three month path coaching? my goodness. Yes. Okay. So I do one -on -one coaching, online education, as well as podcasting. And for my coaching, I have two different programs that just kind of came about this year. until the first one is the five week program and it is an intensive, program where we kind of tackle all the little areas in the beauty industry that.
We don't really talk about too much. So that could be communication, prioritizing, marketing, what else? Boundary setting mindset. And we go through that and there's homework and there's Zoom calls and it's just very direct focus. It's very like that. Then the other program, which is the three month coaching program is for anybody who just
A lot of, a lot of my clients, they say, listen, I just, I need you to just hold me accountable and everything that I do. If that's getting my nails done, getting my hair done, spending time with my family, I just need you to hold me accountable. And so that program is three months. and we talk about anything and everything because the whole point is for me to help you to reach your version of success, whatever that looks like for you. And I'm literally meeting you.
Molly Connolly (35:22.414)
where you are. And those are the two, those are the two programs. The three month program is you can always sign up for another three months. The five week is like a one boom. I mean, you can sign up for it too, as many times as you want to, but it's the information doesn't change. Yeah, that makes sense. Very helpful and very unique too, of being able to go directly into.
the areas that people don't talk about in the beauty industry, as well as holding you accountable, just like a regular coach, but in a way that satisfies your client in the same way. So, yeah. Well, thank you so much, Krystine, for joining me today. I look forward, you know, maybe we'll have to do this again because I can only imagine all the other types of conversations we could have. Absolutely. Molly, I'll have to have you on the podcast as well.