How many times have you found yourself…

Laying on your couch scrolling through Netflix trying to find something new to watch on a Friday night.

Either because you haven't found anyone suitable to date (let alone ask you) or because all your married friends (with or without kids) had other plans? 

I can't even count how many times this happened to me from my late 20's to just before meeting my now-husband at 38 years-old.

Let's face it, singles have a difficult (and different) life once their friends get married and eventually have kids.

Your single circle diminishes leaving you to figure out a new social life on top of trying to find a man to date.

But what if I told you there was a way...

to not only meet eligible bachelors AND make new single friends,

but WHILE discovering ways to find and make genuine connections?!

In today’s episode, I have Shannon Snow and Sue Bennett the Co-Founders of the Smitten Project sharing how they too were facing a similar single circle journey which led them to build a comprehensive resource base to assist singles in finding happiness and connection in the real world.

You’ll hear the different programs, events, and opportunities they have that are designed to help you make and maintain real relationships with yourself and connections with others.

Join me during the 5 week virtual course, Unplugged: Ditch the Dating Apps starting June 19th! ⁠Register today by clicking here.⁠

Smitten Singles website: ⁠https://thesmittenproject.com/singles-home/⁠

Smitten Singles Instagram: ⁠@smittensingles⁠

If you loved this episode or even the podcast, please leave a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ or a rating on ⁠Spotify.⁠ It helps more ambitious women like yourself find this show and learn how to have a healthy relationship with themselves and a partner they love. 

Drink Moment: Use promo code REINVENTINGTHEARENA at checkout to receive 15% OFF your first purchase: ⁠https://drinkmoment.com/collections/shop⁠

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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE

Molly Connolly (00:00.59)

Hey there, there lady. Welcome back to reinventing the arena podcast on today's episode. I have Shannon snow and Sue Bennett. They are co -founders of the smitten project where they believe healthy relationships are critical to happiness. I'm so excited to have you ladies here today with me. I was curious. Could you give me a little bit of an introduction for everyone else that's listening here and maybe even how you guys got started?

Yeah, well, first of all, thank you so much for inviting us, Molly. We are so excited to be here and to share our story. So this Mitten project was officially founded in March of 2022, but the idea came before then. I had found myself coming out of the pandemic without a relationship and a high stress job. I got on the apps and at the time I was an executive and it was just very, very, it was a lot of exposure.

for someone in my role. I was running into clients, into people that I know in my professional field, and it just really wasn't a comfortable conversation. I was looking into matchmaking, which I believe is a wonderful service, but it wasn't within my budget, and I needed something in the middle. So I came up with the idea of First Minute and Singles being meetup events. I had thrown that out to Sue.

and or I'd thrown it out to Facebook and Sue had stepped up and said, hey, we need this in Des Moines. I said, great. Do you want to come along for the ride? I'll let her talk about that in a minute. But then we started some discovery. And what we really found was that there are opportunities to support people wherever they are in the spectrum of their relationship, whether they're single in a relationship, meeting to keep the spark alive or coming out of a relationship. And so our vision

for the Smitten projects is really much broader than the services we're offering today. And we're excited to continue to launch new products and services as we move forward. That's fantastic. I like the way you explain that just I could see the whole transformation into where you got there. So what about Sue? Tell me more about how you got involved when you said I will be here once she posted the Facebook announcement. Similar to Shannon, I am in

Molly Connolly (02:16.686)

a high profile role, I own my own business and I've been single for many years, but I have been on the dating apps through in and on and off the dating apps throughout that time. And I moved to Des Moines. So I had no friends in the Des Moines area. I came from Omaha and I left behind my family, my friends to start a business.

And I poured all of my energy and time into my business, but I really and truly wanted and needed a social outlet and a social life. I was interested in meeting people and potentially finding a relationship. However, my time is valuable. So spending time on dating apps was not a worthwhile use of my time. And so when Shannon mentioned this opportunity to...

bring people together in my community as well as hers and introduce singles to other singles in real life. I said that just that's exactly what I need and what I'm looking for. And I'd be, I'd be happy to be a part of, you know, whatever this might turn out to be. So here we are a year later. Fantastic. So how do you two know each other even to like get this started?

So Shannon and I have known each other for what, eight, 10 years, maybe 10, 12 years, I guess, goes way back. We were both participating in the team and training program for the Leupomia and the Boma Society. We both had that connection. We were on different teams, but we spent quite a bit of time together training Shannon for a marathon and

a bike ride and me for a triathlon. So we, we learned very quickly that when you're training for something so, so involved, so all encompassing, it takes a lot of your time and, and members of our team just became very close. And so we've remained in touch and have really supported each other throughout that team and training process, as well as other aspects of our lives.

Molly Connolly (04:35.63)

And I'm going to jump in here a little bit. You see that connection through team and training in our programming within Smitten. So we recently launched Smitten Cares, which is a program we're extremely excited about. So 5 % of our membership revenue each month gets donated to a charity. For the second quarter of 2023, we obviously chose the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society because it's where we met. But that

that core value of really giving back and doing good shows up in multiple areas of our business, especially through that Spend and Care program. That's amazing. And that's such a beautiful story too, like how even just looking at the relationship aspect of like women getting to meet each other and working together to do something that's maybe like new to them or for good cause at the same time, like that's something that you can overlap into

dating and a future partner relationship. So it's even fun to just being able to do that as a woman that's a professional woman and doing something new outside your comfort zone and making friends that way. So, and now look at you guys, like you said, eight to 12 ish years later and coming up with a whole new business to help other women and men as well find, you know, love as well as keeping the spark alive, like you mentioned, Shannon. So.

With that said, with the Cares and I think you also have, there's Smitten singles, but what's the other one? I can't remember that one off the top of my head. Forever Smitten. So recently launched. That is for couples in monogamous relationships. Really starting with date ideas, but you're going to start to see some in Omaha primarily curated date experiences that you can purchase should be available fall.

So we're pretty excited about that. Fantastic. And then can you guys tell me a little bit more about the mission of Smitten Singles? Because most of my listeners are looking for love, either dating or like building the relationship with themselves so that they're ready to have a partner. Yeah. So Smitten Singles is really about connection. I think, you know, even though the company started from a place where we meet, where I wanted to date, it's really turned into

Molly Connolly (06:56.686)

connections. So during the research process, which honestly, it's a lot of bad dates, right? Like, let's just call it what it is. Yeah, that's so true. It just really became apparent that the issues that face single people in our world are so much more than needing a romantic relationship. I don't know if you remember when you were single, Molly, I know you do a lot of flashbacks, but how many

Friday nights did you spend on your couch because your friends had activities with their kids or you just didn't have that network of singles. And so we've really taken the perspective of focusing on creating a community of singles that support each other. If you want to rabbit hole and I won't go into it now, but go ahead and Google loneliness in singles, especially men. The pandemic was really hard on

people that didn't have someone in their life to share that experience with. And you look at things like suicide rates and mental health rates. And we are big believers in therapy. We don't offer that, but what we do try to focus on is offering that outlet so you can be happy, so you can be smitten with your life. And that's really what we've focused on. That's amazing. Like you brought up a really good thing like

a lot of people don't realize, you know, first, well, first of all, going back to like how big mental health came, you know, from the pandemic, let alone men and therapy now is becoming more widely discussed, which is fantastic. But that idea of being alone for the pandemic, what's really, what's really funny is that I met my husband, Brad, which you know him, Shannon, November of 2019.

And then the day that the world shut down for us, because I know it's different for everyone, depending on where you're located, was March 13th. And that next two or three days, I moved in with him. And we were committed to each other, but we weren't engaged yet. And we both have said that if we would have been separate, staying in our own apartments, either eventually we would have moved in together, or we would have been so lonely that...

Molly Connolly (09:19.214)

we wouldn't know what to do. Like, would we be stepping over someone's toes or boundary, like all of that. So we can only imagine just because my experience was different, how difficult that would have been. So I really appreciate you calling that out. And also like the fact that this also is for men and women, my audience is usually women, but it doesn't mean I haven't coached men before. I actually coached my husband. So.

He doesn't know that sometimes I still coach him. So he finds out later, be like, did you see that parallel? I'd be like, what is, what are you talking about? I'm like, I'm not trying to whatever, but you're good. so yeah, that's so great that you guys are coming up with that. And then I think actually, I saw on your website that there's different locations like you said, Shannon, you're in Omaha and Sue you're in Des Moines. So what locations do you serve right now and what goals do you guys have for the future? Currently serving.

Des Moines, Omaha, Lincoln, Greater Nebraska, Greater Central Nebraska rural areas. We're really trying to reach out to some of those communities because there's a great need there and because they're more sparsely populated, much more difficult to bring people together in their communities. And I'm trying to do the same in Iowa by branching out into

the Ankeny and Ames area and then some of the more rural communities around Des Moines. So we, and we have aspirations to be in other states, other parts of the country. So we really encourage people who come across our information and our business, who have an interest in knowing more about how they can have it in their own communities to reach out to us and let us know that there's an interest there because we believe that we can, we can

potentially offer this service just about anywhere in the country. So yeah, like you guys have mentioned, there's going to be a virtual events coming up, which we'll get to a little bit later. But what local businesses then do you guys partner with in your locations that you maybe like have events or whatever you may do?

Molly Connolly (11:30.094)

So we have a number of different vendors, vendor partners, including restaurants, bars, or some of these charitable organizations who are asking us to participate in their events. There's just so many. Chan and I don't know if you'd like to mention if you in the Omaha area specifically. Yeah, so one of our core values is supporting others within this space and that includes

Our local vendor partners, so we try to find the best local partners that we can. We have really great in Omaha here, we have really great relationships with Pint9, SiteOne, Dante, Blue Legacy, are some of our favorites that we go to frequently. We've probably partnered with over 20 businesses locally.

We have an event coming up with Sips on Tenth, which is a new location. So we're very excited to be able to do something early in their operations with them. But I think what we find is we're a pretty good partner. We bring people to spend money. Occasionally we'll need a discount to make an event go, but for the most part, we don't ask for discounts. We really want to support these businesses.

And what we find is when we find a business partner who is really invested in the success of the event like we are, it's a pretty good event for everyone involved. So we're pretty excited about that. I know you have some partnerships with hotels in Des Moines too. You have some different partnerships. So. Yes, absolutely. So.

We do a lot of our speed dating events at Beer Styles. They've been incredibly accommodating. We've done some speed dating at Doc's Lounge in Des Moines. And we also have had some partnerships with Rewind Hotel. We've done a number of events there in their lounge area. They've been very accommodating.

Molly Connolly (13:46.51)

And then of course, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, we just recently attended their gala for their Visionaries of the Year campaign and we had a table there and we were able to bring a group of our supporters to that event to participate and support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Yeah, those are some of our main ones. I hope I didn't leave anybody out. I always hate to name names when you're on the spot.

But well, I'm sorry to put you guys on the spot, but you guys did quite a lot of great organizations from a variety of different areas. And it's wonderful that you brought up that like it's a win -win. Not only do they get business and then your members get to meet other people and it's a variety of events at the same time. I can only imagine like how that would grow into other cities depending on what's available as well. So what are some of the like how

First of all, how do you make events happen? Do you get feedback from members or do you guys like have a brainstorming session every like few weeks? A little bit of both, I would say. Recently, I am under the bed to get some things on my June calendar. So that just takes some downtime to really sit and do a little bit of research and get on the web and see what's happening in our area and what our members might be interested in.

We always welcome input from our members as well. And our essentials and premier members have access to a group chat where we're often asking, you know, what's going on in our community that you would like to participate in, whether it be a formal event that we're offering or whether it be an informal meetup or gathering that our members plan on their own. We really do encourage that participation from our members.

That's awesome. And you know, we've kind of like tiptoed around it. And now I feel like this would be a good time to mention like your memberships. Actually, I know I didn't say that I was going to ask about this, but I think it's a really good concept to let people know. Like you said, you guys aren't just, you aren't a dating app and you're not like a speed dating service. So talk a little bit more about your membership and how that works. You know, like you mentioned the group chat for the essential, I think you said essential members. So whoever would like to take that one.

Molly Connolly (16:07.374)

I know I thought I'll jump in. So our membership does a few performs a few critical functions. First of all, a membership model keeps us in business. It allows us to keep our event costs even to the cost of the event. So we're leveraging our overhead out of that membership fee to keep those event costs low.

We do also have event costs, which sometimes people are confused about. But what that separation does is allow us to pass on the costs to the people that are really maximizing the event piece of our model. So it ends up being a pretty fair cost model for the client. The membership also requires an acceptance of terms and conditions and code of conduct, which is something that is really important to us as a business.

For many, many reasons, it's hard to run background checks in the dating world. We wish we could. Our attorneys have advised us not to. But that code of conduct sort of steps in in the place of a background check. And if there's an issue with a member, if somebody is disrespectful, if they've contacted people without permission,

you know, that member can report that to us and it allows us to take appropriate action, whether that's kind of putting someone on a warning status or up to termination of membership. But the membership terms are what really allow us to maintain the quality of attendee within our membership. So it's a pretty, we think it's a pretty fair model.

What you're going to see, we're going to talk about it in a minute, but with unplugged membership also does allow for discounts to events and that discount varies based on the type of membership that people have. But we are starting to offer many more services for our premier members. And so you're going to start to see a service differential more than you do now in the coming months between the membership. So we're pretty.

Molly Connolly (18:25.71)

excited about that. Well, thank you for fully explaining all the like how the membership really does work, especially that terms and conditions. I know like you guys have mentioned that you guys are also on the dating apps and I never understood that either why there wasn't some sort of background check why there could be someone on there that really isn't in the right space and maybe is not looking for the same sort of thing that

maybe other people are. So I really appreciate knowing that because I feel that safety is very, very important for dating. Like one of the things that I have told my clients that are really interested in first dates, I'm like, there are things that you definitely know as red flags. Like if someone's like, let's go hiking, be like, no, you're not going hiking. Like do not go alone with a stranger, no matter how many times you've talked to them. So some things like that. So I really appreciate you ladies mentioning that that's in your terms and conditions.

But just like you mentioned, Shannon, I really want to even bring up the next type of membership or type of way of participating in events. And that is virtual events. And so would you both be able to talk a little bit about unplugged, ditch the dating apps for good? Shannon, I'm going to let you take the lead on this one. This is Shannon's brainchild. And honestly, it's incredible. And it's going to take us to the next level as far as

services that we're able to offer to our clients and to anyone who is interested in participating in this event. Awesome. Yeah. So I love this event and I am so excited to be partnering with coaches like you, Chelsea, Alejandra and Brianna to bring this to life. As we mentioned earlier, our vision is so much broader than events. We really want to be focused on

those opportunities to support people in their single lives. And we're not coaches, but we believe that coaching is a big part of that. We started offering some live events here in Omaha and in Des Moines, and we had interest, but there were some challenges. We're in smaller communities, so finding a coach that focuses on each of the areas

Molly Connolly (20:51.086)

that we really want to bring to our clients is a challenge. We're maybe not connected with them today. I'm sure there's some out there that are really great that we haven't connected with, but it's been a challenge to find the scope of content that our clients are just really asking for. The other challenge, and we talked about this, Molly, because you do coach men, which is why we selected you.

A lot of coaches are really focused on coaching women and we're getting this request from our men. So when we sat down to just really think about what a program could look like, it needed to be virtual and it needed to be national.

So we set out on a mission to find four experts in different areas that would complement each other and come together to bring a comprehensive program to help people be successful in their personal relationships and their quest for love.

Molly Connolly (00:00.046)

And we selected four of you to come and talk about various topics. So we're kicking it off with Chelsea and I'll let Sue chime in about Chelsea in a second, but Chelsea is going to hit any gram and how that applies to your relationships. And then we moved to Brianna who is, she's actually a sales in the business world. She does sales coaching, but her expertise is effective communication.

So she's breaking that down to communication styles within your relationship. And then we have you come in to do self -sabotaging behavior and Alejandra is doing style. So keeping your style fresh. And we believe that these are, that each of you will deliver a critical tool that clients can take to apply to their lives.

The other benefit that we get out of this, although not direct, is clients are going to get to taste each coach's style. Just tip their toe in a little bit. And if they want more support in a certain area, they will have a connection that they've already worked with to reach out to be available to them for additional coaching services. So we're pretty excited about that.

Sorry, the last thing I'm going to say, I'm not excited at all. Can you tell? No, it's great that you guys are excited. I mean, I am too. So keep going. I am incredibly grateful to all of you because we know that, you know, to be able to offer this for at a cost that is less, we believe the cost that you can buy even as a non -member.

the cost of this program is less than if you would participate in each of these individually. And that's largely because the experts are such team players and willing to work with us on that pricing to keep the quality high, but the price within something that is manageable for people.

Molly Connolly (02:10.222)

So we're really appreciative for that. And I think that's the niche you're gonna see us play is working with our community to deliver really great quality programming. That's just a tip toe, the tip toe into some services, but it's some exposure that they wouldn't get otherwise at more palatable costs than committing to a full program. So. Totally agree.

I'm just really excited to see how the different coaches and their message will build on one another. Starting with Chelsea and her Enneagram coaching, she's going to be talking with our participants about really how their Enneagram type influences their relationships and knowing their Enneagram type and perhaps the Enneagram type of their

friends or partner is important in communication, which will then lead to additional conversations that will build on each other with each individual coach as they go through the program. And the coaches will also be accessible through an online chat where our participants can ask questions and give feedback and even talk amongst themselves about the program.

So we're excited for that interaction as well. And we think that it's going to be really engaging. I totally agree. Like I love how we have stacked the coaches in a certain order, which kind of just came about naturally based off people's availability and being able to go from learning more about who you are as a person through a really fun personality sort of assessment. Like I love the anagram as well.

And now I'm like, personally want to reach out to Chelsea and be like, can it change? Like that's a question that I've always had about Enneagrams. But like, and that's a pretty common question I would assume that people have, but being able to see the dynamics between all the different types of Enneagram results and like how that applies, like you said, maybe with your parents or with your coworkers, with your friends, and then how you might be with your partner or future partner or even like past relationships and be able to see those different dynamics come about.

Molly Connolly (04:28.302)

And then I know Rihanna personally, she had worked with my husband in a previous corporate setting and she is very conversational. She is very easy to talk to. She's someone who just really loves building connection, whether that's networking or with different people for relationships. And so that art of conversation that she's going to share, like I can only imagine what that's going to bring about and how that would work in a dating or relationship setting.

For mine, I really have discussed the self -sabotaging behaviors that people do in dating that show up in dating, meaning like there's dating patterns of either like falling for the same face and just having the similar relationship problems. And what that really means of like how you're self -sabotaging yourself from finding love. And that can actually apply, like I said, to men and women, but it does have some little moments of like reflection in it.

And for Alejandra, I cannot even imagine how helpful she would have been when I was dating, like empowerment, you know, dress and how to show up on a date. And like, I was a person, this is in a past podcast episode that I shared about anxiety and dating. I personally always wore black just because I am like one of those, I get so nervous, I sweat.

So for me, like having her around and be like, well, you could wear this, you could wear that, or this type of fabric. I'd be like, my gosh, like how to dress me in a sort of way that makes me feel comfortable and empowered while I'm on a date. So I really feel that this type of program is not available anywhere. I feel that what the women are gonna be bringing to the table is going to be, like you said, Shannon, like it is at a lower cost for what we each individually charge for.

sessions, let alone like programs of something in this nature. So I can't wait to get started. I know, obviously I know a little more details, but when is this starting so that the people can either register or when is it closing? Like all the little timing details. Yeah. So we are really hopeful that this will sell out. So they should not wait if they want to register. There are only 25 spots available.

Molly Connolly (06:44.43)

Registration is currently open on Eventbrite. You can search for unplugged. You can look for smitten singles. I don't know if you're going to drop any. I'll include it in the show notes for sure so people can grab it. Yeah, it's currently open and it starts June 19th. It does meet for five weeks. We realize there's a holiday in there. So July 3rd is, I'm actually equally excited about it. It's a member mixer.

For those of you that haven't met our virtual member mixers and they're new, so that's most of you, probably all of you, they are actually a lot of fun. But this is a midpoint opportunity that does two things. It lets the participants talk to each other about what they're learning and lean on each other in a live way. But it also is going to let us

interact with them and prepare for the second two weeks and see how it's going and kind of check in with them. So even though that's not a content heavy week, I think it's gonna be really important to bring cohesiveness to the participants. Yeah, that sounds awesome because I like that there's a little bit of a break to actually discuss and then maybe for those that maybe have actually applied what they've learned in the last like week or two, that's even a huge thing because

What people that have never done coaching before sometimes don't grasp is that you can have a session with a coach, but it is your responsibility to take the action between the next session. So some people are like, I listened, but nothing happened. Well, you have to go take the action and apply what you've learned or what you've discovered about yourself in order to make those changes. And it's not like it's going to change in seven days between each like session or our own little

our own virtual presentation, but it's one of those where it's like, you're going to have time to learn and test and see what's working best for you. And eventually that becomes a habit and you get to change from learning what you get from out of this program. So.

Molly Connolly (08:58.126)

Yeah. go ahead Sue. Sorry. I was gonna say it's almost like having a little homework in between the different sessions, but, but in a fun way, right? So you get to experiment with what you've learned and, and give it a try, apply it in your daily life. Exactly. I always like to say homework, but then I know that there's people that are like, my God, I don't want to go back to school. So we're always learning. Exactly. Well, do you ladies have anything else that you want to add before we.

close out the podcast episode today. No, but thank you again, Molly, for having us. We're just so excited to share our programs with everyone out there in our communities and extend our reach beyond Omaha, Des Moines, Lincoln, and the areas that we're currently serving. So thank you again. Of course. Well, thank you once again, ladies, for joining. And I cannot wait to share this podcast episode with

my listeners as well as being able to have your members have an opportunity to like listen a little bit more about this. So thanks again for joining. Thank you. Thank you.