Heading home for the holidays and dreading every minute of it as a single lady?

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives…

And, yes, I’m even including those first and second college years in case you met your significant other early in your life.

As you, or maybe your single friends, have become older, you may have started DREADING going home for the holidays for more than one reason.

The questions like “When are you  going to settle down?” that you don’t want to answer from family members.

Or the family members who are trying to set you up with their neighbor's cousin who lives in another time zone.

Or maybe watching others sitting around the dinner table who are smitten with each other and it just makes you want to swear off dating once and for all.

It could even be hearing the infamous song ”All I want for Christmas”  by Mariah Carey.

Seriously,... I hated those situations and couldn’t stand that song when I was in my bitter single stage.

But what some people don’t bother to share are the reasons WHY being single over the holidays is AMAZING! Of course, for those of us who were single in our 30s and 40s, or are single in our 30s and 40s now, can seriously say there’s a lot of pros we don’t typically share with others.

If you’re not exactly thrilled about going home, I’m about to share 10 of my favorite reasons why being single over the holidays is amazing.

Family Gatherings

The opportunity to be present with other family members.

You’re not having to introduce or reintroduce yourself (or your significant other) to family members and friends.

You’re not having to worry about what topics may come up or childhood stories that can feel embarrassing for them to know.

Plus, if you were married and the families lived in the same town, you’d more than likey try to squeeze in at LEAST two Christmas’s other than your own. This can create so much stress and anxiety when all you really want to do is relax and enjoy peoples company.

Instead you’re able to have personal, in depth conversations with those family members you might not see that often. Or maybe even helping your younger cousin by sharing some advice… or maybe even volunteering to build a castle out of Legos with your nephew.

You learn more about your family through some of your parents or even grandparents stories about past holiday gatherings. I remember my grandmother and great aunt telling me a story about my great great uncle. He never married, but invited both couples over for a holiday dinner. He was very thrifty to say the least so my grandmother and great aunt fought over who would clean the dishes JUST so they could get their hands warm in the hot water!

You can leave family to go meet up with friends if you live in the same town or they’re in town.

Honestly, this was one of my favorites when I was single. I don’t know when it started, but I would go out with a bunch of girlfriends on Christmas night. We’d bar hop and see who else was back in town before closing out the night, each of us heading back to our parents houses or our own apartment.

Let’s say you’re not a person who really enjoys spending time with their family. This is always a good “out” that you can mention when you arrive before the meal. If things end up going well and you’re enjoying yourself, you have no reason to leave - unless you need to drive home or back to a hotel.

If you’re single, and have kids, you’re able to make special moments with just you.

Even though Christmas mornings can seem like a blur, you can still make the moment last and memorable.

This also gives the opportunity for your oldest to take more responsibility. Maybe that’s handing out gifts to the younger ones. Maybe that’s getting the stockings down. Maybe that’s helping set the table. Maybe that’s just pushing the buttons on the coffee maker so that you can have some ready when you need another jolt of energy to keep up!

I don’t know about you, but my parents were very particular about Christmas morning as we got older. We had to wait until the clock was 6 am in order for us to rush into our parents bedroom to wake them up.

Then my brother would sort out the gifts under the tree to each person as we each had a designated spot for unwrapping. Plus, my mom is SUPER organized and wants to keep things clean so each of us has our own trash bag… she is brilliant! Even as adults we keep the trash bag tradition going.

Another tradition we have is to watch one person open a gift before moving on to the next person. Rotating the gift opening made the moments even more special. My parents would see the surprise and delight on our faces while my brother and I opened our gifts. And I loved watching my parents exchange gifts too. It really made those moments memorable.

Think of all the different ways you can make your Christmas morning memorable with your children!

Gift Giving

You don’t have to buy gifts for the person you’re dating - or their family!

Each relationship has its own rules on how you do gifts.

My husband’s family used to buy gifts for every single person in the family including sisters, brother-in-laws, kids, and parents. For some families this can be 10 or more gifts. And while it’s the thought that counts, it can be extremely expensive and time consuming when you start to buy gifts for a larger family that isn’t your own.

It wasn’t until the pandemic that I mentioned my family shifted to drawing names. My husband implemented this and it’s been smooth sailing!

When you’re single you have the option of who you want to buy presents for, in most cases.

You can focus on buying gifts for your close family members and friends.

You can buy gifts for yourself that no one is going to buy for you.

Maybe you know that your parents aren’t going to dish out $100 or more for that 90 minute massage or that purse you’ve had your eye on. You get to treat yourself… well actually you get to buy what you want because you deserve it.

I’m a huge fan of buying at least one gift for yourself during the holiday season AND if your birthday is in December or January, you definitely need to get yourself something for both the holiday AND your birthday.

Traveling

If you’re traveling, hopefully you get to be on your own schedule.

Maybe you only need to travel 30 minutes across town or maybe its a 8 hour drive. Whatever it is, all you need to know is when the holiday festivities start or the meal is going to be served to make it on time.

Sometimes this allows you to come and go as you please depending where you are staying if you’re traveling from out of town.

You get to travel and the method that you prefer.

The only downside may be not having a travel buddy for a long road trip.

Me Time

Take time off and enjoy just for yourself for the holidays.

If you can, taking time off from work and time with family will give you moments to enjoy just for yourself. Maybe you want to have your own holiday movie marathon or your own holiday dance party in your living room.

Time for hobbies or start something new.

The “me time” is also great if you’re looking to pick up an old hobby or devote time to something new.

Take a vacation with a friend.

Maybe you use this “me time” to take a trip for New Years Eve to do some solo searching of your own. I have a guy friend who usually travels to meet up with his friends a few days prior or after Christmas. They enjoy a full week celebrating the holidays, including New Years Eve, together.

Overall, when you’re single the only expectations you have to meet are your own. You can celebrate the holidays any way you would like. Plus, it allows you to fully lean into dating yourself, which can help you decide what you’d like in a future relationship during the holiday season.

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